Monday, November 23, 2009

Rap Crap: The Beef Edition

How come no rappers have fought yet? Really though. With the amount of beef circulating though Hip Hop, all the WWF-esque tactics that have gained popularity over the 'Nets, & all the blatant disrespect, you'd think that somebody would've gotten their ass handed to them by now. Sure, a WorldStarHipHop clip with some disgruntled weed carrier holding a gun & barking at the camera is entertaining, but how much of a point does that prove? That energy would better be spent throwing rocks at random rich nigga whips, in hopes that the target is in one of them.

Now, it's obvious that some beef is just a couple of blow hards exchanging witty unpleasantries (see Jay-Z/NaS or Kanye West/Taylor Swift), & I don't expect it to go any further than slapping & scratching, per se. Kind of like Michael Jackson's 'Beat It' video; you knew damn well none of those dudes were going to stab anybody, & run the risk of messing up their mascara. Eminem/Nick Cannon is one of those where, although physical threats have been made, I don't see it going beyond amusing little videos & blog disses. I'd put my money on Mariah slapping the shit out of Marshall backstage at a video awards show before Nick ever Tae-Bo's the rapper. Nick is like the consummate stand-up guy, & for that stereotype alone, he should've stepped to Em. Instead, he rattled off rants about Marshall being racist, as if Nick is any Blacker than Marshall. No dice.

Others are just a couple of guys, reaching middle age & wanting to show the world that Hollywood hasn't sprinkled fairy dust on them completely yet (Ice Cube/Common), or a situation where an older, seemingly out of touch MC is threatened by a younger, more virile MC & has to defend his position (LL Cool J/Canibus).

Some "beef" is the chosen vehicle for whatever unknown douche nozzle rapster thinks that swinging blindly at the competition will garner them popularity. 50 Cent's 'How To Rob A Industry Nigga' is the successful anomaly to this group, & it almost worked for a group back in the days called 'Illegal', who came out blazing at Another Bad Creation, Da Youngstas & Kris Kross. But with not one mustache between the entire bunch, spectators didn't trust them or watch for very long. & 50 has based an entire, successful career around that ethos. & I won't even go in on Jay-Z/50/Beanie Sigel/Game. That particular beef is being dissected everywhere right now, my 2 cents wouldn't even register. But 50 has single handedly changed the face of rap beef, taking it away from the recorded disses & darts & bringing it to cats' houses. Literally. His most memorable, yet distasteful, was sending his goons to videotape a rival's (DJ Khalid) mother asleep at her workplace. Oy vey.

Arguably, the illest rap beef ever was Tupac Shakur versus Notorious B.I.G., simply because of the outcome. Not so much that the so-called war was especially spectacular, but the surrounding dramas were eventful, & outcome was devastating, like the Vietnam War.

Then, some dudes have actual problems with one another, & thusly, some type of fist fight should've occurred already. Take 50 Cent & Game. The longer I don't here about them running into each other & boxing, is the more I don't believe they really have beef. Or Young Jeezy/Gucci Mane, a beef that extends beyond diss records & subliminal darts over banging tracks. There was an actual altercation, that has already left a man dead by Gucci's own hands. I grew up in South L.A., where niggas die. Hopefully those two brothers can be men, fight if necessary, but come to a conclusion to their problems for the safety of all parties involved. As far as the 50 Cent/Rick Ross fiasco, if I were Ross, I'd be hitting the gym daily, still recording (the better) music like I've been doing, but at this point in their bromance, Ross can't do or say anything to this man that can't be said through an ass whooping. 50 has teased & taunted this dude in ways that would've broken a weaker man long ago. I've often suggested that Rick is possibly the dumbest guy in Hip Hop, & by that standard, he's unable to fathom what Curtis does. Even still, it's about time to punch him in the nose, even if Rick does get his ass kicked. It can't be any worse than what 50's been doing all this time.

I'm not advocating any beef whatsoever, but, for all the mouth running & show boating, I sure do wish somebody would fight already. We remember fighting, what dudes with problems with each other did before cowards started throwing bullets instead of punches? I've said it before, & I'll say it again; Hip Hop is the only genre where you make enemies as quickly, if not more so, as fans. Other forms of music are just competitive, everybody wants to be the "winner", everybody wants to make the big checks & bring home numerous trophies from irrelevant, redundant award shows, yet, I'm positive that Carrie Underwood won't be dedicating any studio time to telling Taylor Swift that she sucks as a singer & her parents are closet racists. There's plenty of social stigmas as to why this is so, & all the psycho-babble in the world can't help me to understand why rappers feel they have to shit on each others space boots to get ahead. Back when I was under the impression that I could make noise on the rap scene, some nameless buffoon started beefing with me, & for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what his deal was. In hindsight, it was probably the same thing that other cats do, where they see an opportunity to piggyback another man in order to further their "career". But, the jokes on him, because I stopped rapping (sort of).

The thing with rappers fighting is that we know it won't progress to any street-level bullshit, & I doubt a cat would press charges. Domestic laws wouldn't apply if two "famous" jerks bumped heads in the parking lot of the Louis Vuitton store. So, why not? The era of the "diss record" has about run it's course, & frankly, it's about time for it to be taken to the next echelon, or abandoned altogether. Hip Hop is a completely different sport now than it was when I was coming up.

[tony's note: i'm sure I forgot some "important" beefs. feel free to remind me.]


Polotron said...

Keep em comin' Grand$...I was dead at, "rocks/random rich nigga whips".

Here's a beef for ya: Em vs. Benzino. There sure was a lot of media on that one at the time.

Tony Grands said...

^^Good call. Well, add this to Marshall's list...

Canibus & some dude are trying to light the fires, again. Just hit the 'Nets today.

Jamal7Mile said...

Let me throw in my neighbor, Trick-Trick. Both Everlast and Trick Daddy recieved knuckle sandwiches from him. Proof and Royce got into it, too. Fortunately, they squashed it before Proof passed.

Added bonus: ME AND PROOF FOUGHT!! But that was in 5th grade. Not sure if playground fights count. We were cool the very next day, thankfully.

Polotron said...

Em vs. Canibus (again)...that could work.

And for the record, I think Canibus gave it to LL. He still lost (at the end of the day) though.

Tony Grands said...


'Bus should take Wyclef to small claims court for damages (to his career).

Federal Ranga said...

Guess that just goes to show how weak the female presence of hip hop pretty much has always been. The only mentioning of any woman this whole blog was Khaled's mom.

So I won't even try to name a female rap beef. Fuck it.

Good shit Grands.... YA'LL NIGGAZ SCRAP ALREADY!!!

Federal Ranga said...

My bad... Carrie and Taylor, too... but that's only based on the 6 degrees of Kanye West...

Kiana Butler said...

@ Fed Ranga female rappers don't beef because all of this stuff is silly. I know it's a part of hip-hop but I always thought it was a waist of time. Aside from Tupac and Biggie most of these beefs seem manufactured. These dudes aren't exchanging blows, because word to Ricky Ross (the rapper) everybody's acting.

Federal Ranga said...

@ Kiana

I feel you, but for two different reasons.

1. Femcees general tend to get along better than their male counterparts more on the we-need-to-stand-together-to-survive type shit than beef-is-silly ish.

2. With there not being many of them, there really isnt anything to compete, let alone beef for in their side of the rap field. To state my case, can you name two femcees who genuinely, to this just dont fux with each other at all?

The Bollocks said...

Yo, Grands -

I'm late on the drop because I just discovered your blog via Combat Jack's XXL post; seeing as you're one of the few XXL commenters to actually drop knowledge on dudes, I thought I'd cruise through and look around.

I just had to comment on your speculation that "The longer I don't here about them running into each other & boxing, is the more I don't believe they really have beef." I'm pretty sure they don't actually have beef... if you haven't yet, peep the interview game just did over at complex:

Aight, that's it, man...Keep up the good work!

somebody said...