Tuesday, August 18, 2009

North Pole to the Stripper Pole...

I'm not one to get preachy about women & what they should do. At the very least, I'm only responsible for my own daughter (assuming she's actually my kid), but her mother usually intercepts any positive intentions I have toward her. I can only hope that my children's mom doesn't brainwash my daughter to have the same, lopsided mentality that her entire man-less family does. Rejection does incredible things to a person's perception.

[tony's note: one of these positive, black female role models really needs to holler at these 'baby mommas'. there will NEVER be a solution as long as THEY contribute as much to the problem as WE do.]

The small amounts of time I do spend with her are mostly so full to-the-brim with fatherly wisdom & pearl-casting that I rarely get the chance to sit & talk with her. So, even though I attempt to make up for lost time, said time is spent making up for lost time; a vicious cycle that will never end.

I think it's more important to teach her about the perils of low self-esteem & the dangers of boys than it is to know what her favorite food is. Since I'm in a position of submission from the gate, I use my time wisely. After all, I'm not her friend, & won't ever be. I prefer that we fill our time with big words, rather than small talk, per se. In the words of Chris Rock (or, some other prominent Black social commentator), my job is to keep her off the pole. Whatever euphemism you choose in regards to that phrase is fine by me; it still works.

My first real duty as her father, was to debunk the Santa Claus myth. There's no such thing as a man who's going to give you things for free, & if he does exist, don't trust him. That was relatively easy. My last real duty as a father is to debunk the exotic dancer myth. There's no such thing as a man who's going to give you things for free, & if he does exist, don't trust him. This may prove a bit more difficult.

Not only is a bitter ex there to (try &) intercept the words that my little girl needs to hear from her dad, but the rappers, TV shows, movies & dumb ass friends surrounding her have more access to her psyche. I'm not teaching her to "Jerk" or "Reject". On the contrary, I'm want her to "reject" any "jerk" who wants her to see his "stanky leg". But society is telling her there's nothing wrong with that, so I appear the overbearing witch doctor attempting to hypnotize her out of having fun.

Nah. I'm just trying to keep her off the pole, literally & figuratively.

If I can fill her with self-righteous indignation then maybe that will quell some douche nozzle loser from filling her with poor self-worth & unwanted babies.

But, hey, if I don't accomplish my mission, & you happen to be at a strip joint & see my daughter dancing, tip her good, because that means she has mouths to feed at home.


Anonymous said...

Yeah I'm up. Just finished watching "3 The Hard Way". Jim Kelly with the fly ass leathers on!

But I think you're good fam. Just keep buzzing in her ear and she'll get it.

$ykotic Don McCaine

david@viceuk.com said...

Love the santa clause analogy...

Federal Ranga said...

Tony, you did it again, mayne...

Real shit, you can only tell what you birthed so much. After you do its up to them to take it into account and apply it positively to their lives.

In the end you tried and that's all that matters, homey. You're a father SECOND and a MAN with real world knowledge first.... you just want to give your offspring that knowledge... thats one of the things that makes you a father.

SUPRSHAZ. said...

:) we definitely need more people like you. I never really noticed the similarites between Santa Claus and a random guy though =\

you literally wrote everything I want to tell my little cousin, but I'm afraid; on a count of she's only four -__-

Tony Grands said...


What's good, sis?

Nah, never to young to start planting seeds of wisdom. That "better late than never" shit only applies to buses & apologies.

She'll let you know her level of comprehension, you take it from there.

She needs you.

Kiana said...

I was just having a conversation with one of my coworkers, who is almost 15 years older than me, about how no man will give a woman something for free without expecting something in return. She looked at me like she never had learned that before. Crazy.

I see young girls at my day job that desperately need male figures in their lives. Girls need fathers to better teach them what type of woman not to be. My father was present but we never had conversations about men. It would have been nice and might've spared me some heartache, who knows?

I say keep talking to your daughter, she will be Thankful for it one day.

Tony Grands said...


Hey you...

Don't worry, I'll be talking to her until I can't. Then, I'll let go & let God.

somebody said...