Monday, February 9, 2009

Babies 'R' Us

What's the deal with this 'octuplets' lady?

All racially-charged jokes aside, she already had six children, & knowingly had a medically-enhanced pregnancy, well aware of the possible ramifications of such a procedure. Now, carrying eight babies-to-be is in & of itself quite the task, but to have six crumbsnatchers prior? Did she run out of chores for the kids she already reared? Did some childhood trauma take such a toll on her that she's decided to punish her uterus indefinitely? Is loneliness still a problem with the internet so easily accessible?

I have a million & one questions, with no answers in sight.

She recently began speaking publicly about the ordeal, & not to discredit her or whatever public school system she's alumni of, but, she just doesn't seem like the brightest crayon in the box. Not because of the predicament she's gotten herself into, but just because. I don't even know of any rappers/basketball players/"actual" sperm donors that have fourteen offsprings (I'm not too sure about Shawn Kemp, though).

Now, would some sort of psychic evaluation, after child number 6, have prevented the multiple additions to her family?


Is it at all possible that, somewhere during the whole process, a clinically certified therapist could have helped her deviate from such a plan?

Probably not.

The law of the land states "stupid is as stupid does", so any "stupidity" obviously predicated her sex life, however lascivious. She would have just kept at the unprotected intercourse method until she meet her baby quota, or her vagina decided it had had enough & closed it's door for good.

For all intents & purposes, a big family is a beautiful thing. A blessing, in the truest sense of the word. Realistically speaking, living with your parents with six kids & a failed marriage under your belt seems like enough deterrent for further pro creation. At least until that magical lotto number drops into your lap.

If her parents ever wondered what kind of a job they did raising their daughter, they now have an obvious answer, in the form of the biggest "kcuf you" since the Menedez brothers.

The famous old adage says "it takes a village to raise a child". This woman may have singlehandedly added a line to that. "But it takes a nation to raise a village." There's no excuse or reason for one single (single, as in manless) woman to want that many children. The loneliest spinster I know has 9 CATS, & the entire neighborhood labeled her a mental case, so imagine the chatter amongst the people who live on Octogirl's street. She should expect petitions, rallies, boycotts, & possibly her very own personalized wave of hate crime. By no means am I wishing that upon her family, but I'm a tenant of the real world & statistically, her children possess the propensity to be their own street gang.

*Disclaimer: I am not a racist, but I'm required by unwritten law to release the following statement*

I'm glad it wasn't a black woman.

We must also take into consideration how the children are going to feel growing up having to share their one & only parent with thirteen other human beings, not counting the inevitable (but ill advised) booty calls & hovering relatives. There have been reports of strangers donating breast milk to the family in attempts to contribute to her cause. Call me old-fashioned, but their lives are off to a very creepy start.

If this was a ploy to become rich & famous, I think it would have been much easier to plow an SUV into a day care, & then eat a .45 slug. That way, all previous responsibilities would have been passed along to the remaining family members. Not to mention, no dirty diapers to change.

This is, in the most awkward of ways, an uphill battle for this courageous woman. At the very least, her kids will one day totally run JDH, eventually graduating to an entire pod at the local jail being named after them. At the most, she owns a future sports franchise. Soccer or baseball would be my guess.

Good luck, stay strong & God bless whatever babysitter is desperate enough to answer that Craig's List ad.


k.coleman brown said...

Octogirls!! yeah she's definitely off and 95% TAMMY-FIED! I just found out today not only is she w/o a husband she's also on the county and gets FOOD STAMPS! When I heard that I immediately scheduled a day off from work to find her so I could personally introduce my FIST TO HER BACK!

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