Wanted: the proverbial bad guy-a "villain", to assume all the responsibilities of Hip Hop's requisite antagonist, and fill position of necessary cultural scapegoat. Must be arrogant, ignorant, smug, materialistic, slightly psychotic with glimmers of brilliance and remorse. Must have a violent and/or criminal background (preferably authentic) and suffer from one (1) or more mental illnesses-ideally some form of post traumatic stress disorder. Must be goal-oriented, and possess at least a basic concept of song writing ability and melody recognition. Ability to harmonize optional. Sexual preference will be privatized, unless otherwise suspected by bloggers, paparazzi, etc., in which case, you assume full responsibility of damage control. Apply at your own risk...
Now that 50's been counted out of the runnings, for the most part, Hip Hop is a need of a new nigga we love to hate. Or, hate to love, depending on your vantage point. A bad guy. Thanks to Rick Ross, Clipse, Raekwon, Killa Cam, Ghostface, and a handful of other hot spitters, 2009 saw the reemergence of Cocaine rap, with a vengeance. Well, if you count the brief 'Trap Rap' phenom, it never went anywhere, but I'm just saying. Even still, there's a galaxy's difference between a hustler and a gangster. Granted, the two can occupy the same space simultaneously, but ultimately you're one or the other. Where as hustler's talk slick and attempt to keep their noses clean-no pun intended, gangster's talk loud, and have dirty nails. Which brings us back to the role of the bad guy, a part 50 played so well that by the end of his stint with Interscope, he'd taken shots at both Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine. Gotta love it.
Who can we look to now, for extreme nigganometry and self righteous egotism, in between making the hoes dance and niggas wanna clap something? Who's voice is strong enough to fill the shoes? This is a necessary balance needed, lest we allow Drake and Kanye West to be in charge of the dispersement of aggression in rap music. No dice. So far the emo-rap community's street cred includes slapping Canadians, slapping paparazzi cameras, & getting slapped by abortion-having, scorned ex-girlfriends. Kid Cudi did get pulled over by the LAPD, but in his defense, cops in my city are so dumb they still haven't caught the dude(s) who killed Christopher Wallace. They sure as fuck caught O.J. pretty quick though, but I digress. Plus, the only person who can wear tight pants & be a bad motherfucker, simultaneously, is dead. Long live Rick James. Plenty of dudes on the rap radar have the ability to deliver grimy stories and gritty tales of street life, but that doesn't necessarily qualify them to be in charge of an entire sub-genre of a culture.
In the movie 'Matrix', how many of you can say that, not only were you rooting for Agent Smith, but you were extra hyped when he returned in the sequel, with upgrades? I knew that the future of the free world was dependent of Neo's victory, but in the interim, I needed to see him get his ass kicked by the bad guy. If it was just Neo flying around & having copious amounts of sex with that chick that looked like a little boy, that movie would've sucked. How important was Superman without Lex Luthor? Scores of bad guys could cross Clark's path, but Lex was the yang to his yin. Really though, cats had equal the amount of super abilities, sometimes even more so, & this little bald headed Jewish guy could eff up Superman's day faster than he could wax his dome piece. Now, rap needs a new yin, or something to that effect, to give us the overstanding of the underview, to balance all the emotional rollercoasters that we're bombarded with on a daily basis.
Without a bad guy, there's just "the good guy," & that's no fun at all.
Otherwise, rest assured, in no less than 5 years, Hip Hop will look like 'Revenge of the Nerds'-the musical. Will we be following Booger, or Ogre?
Showing posts with label Drake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drake. Show all posts
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
D.I.Y. or D-I-E!
You guy's remember Drake? Yeah, the rap dude from Canada with the prosthetic knee. I bet you been waiting on his album to drop, haven't you? You ain't gotta lie, that's why we use screen names & shit. 'Thank Me Later' was pushed back twice already this year, despite the overwhelming buzz, the major label re-release of his mixtape 'So Far Gone', 2 grammy nominations, & countless features throughout the latter half of the year. After January's date was shafted, It was scheduled to be released on Valentine's Day of 2010, but again, no dice. Drake was selling out shows & doing PR work before he even signed with Young Money. Some might say, including me, he was a bigger star without "anyone" helping him.
Drake is what you call a Grade Curve Axis. Like it or not, 2009 success was graded according to what he did. If you had an album on a shelf, & weren't as popular as this dude, with his only offering being a mixtape, & then the rehashing of said mixtape, then you didn't do well enough.
In industry terms, dude was the complete package: built-in fan base, good looking [||], penchant for crafting music teenagers can get pregnant to, & he had the co-sign of Lil Wayne, arguably the most relevant rapper of the last couple of years. Yet & still, he received as many album releases speed bumps as the most established dudes. Odd, no? He was rap music's poster boy, & with the snap of some old White guy's fingers, he's in limbo, much like your favorite rapper.
I predict that 2010 will see many more artists going the independent route, permanently. Before, indie was the yellow brick road to major stardom. I don't see that staying the same, what with the industry climate, & recession & more wack rappers getting shine than I can shake a wack stick at. Guys like Charles Hamilton, who had the right idea but failed miserably, will become the norm. After all, an artist's dream is to be paid for their masterpieces. That's not going to happen though, as long as the entertainer allows record executives to have sex with their futures. Might as well masturbate, so to speak, & be solely in charge of the outcome.
[tony's note: ha! i didn't notice that zinger until I typed it!...]
Wanna be rap stars beware. These labels aren't playing fair, have no interest in your prosperity, & would quicker leave you a penniless bum than make you a star. When I was younger, phase 2 of being a "rapper" was trotting your demo tape into an office & meeting some douche nozzle A&R, with the hopes of tickling his fancy [||] enough to be considered on their roster. Nowadays, the requirements are hoops & hurdles so extreme that, by the time you make a name for yourself, what would you need a label for. It's pimping & pandering, & niggas are lining up to go pro. Or, maybe not.
We can all thank Soulja Boy for having the balls to go for broke on his own laurels & scruples. This one goofy kid turned to 'Net into his personal billboard, & that move took him to the top of Billboard. Anybody who doubted him is surely kicking themselves in the ass while their great-grandparents "superman that hoe" at their 50th wedding anniversary. His was a definite game changer, & not a trend as the big whigs hoped it would be. Maybe if they wise up, the recording industry can salvage whatever control of our ears they have left. People don't want to hear what "they" want us to hear, & that's why radio is dying as I type. Even satellite radio is catching a bad rap. What happened with the radio was tasteless program directors, payola, & a tainted musical gene pool, offering little-to-no talent. Who the fuck wants to hear a Flo Rida song, much less in constant rotation between 4 different shows? Those with the talent were relegated to the underground circuit, or the DJ mix shows that only spun real rap from 12 to 2 AM. They would've been better not playing those albums at all, because when the people noticed that there's still good music to be had, they demanded it. & when those jerks refused to play "good" music, opting instead to shove overwhelming amounts of monkey shit down our collective throats, the radio lost all credibility as a reliably source of music. At that exact point, the 'Net became the place to be. & has been ever since. The last time I listened to urban radio, G-Unit was still selling records.
My dad always said, "If you want something done right, do it yourself". Word. Once rappers truly understand how easily that can be achieved, labels better take notice or get turned off, just like the radio.
Drake is what you call a Grade Curve Axis. Like it or not, 2009 success was graded according to what he did. If you had an album on a shelf, & weren't as popular as this dude, with his only offering being a mixtape, & then the rehashing of said mixtape, then you didn't do well enough.
In industry terms, dude was the complete package: built-in fan base, good looking [||], penchant for crafting music teenagers can get pregnant to, & he had the co-sign of Lil Wayne, arguably the most relevant rapper of the last couple of years. Yet & still, he received as many album releases speed bumps as the most established dudes. Odd, no? He was rap music's poster boy, & with the snap of some old White guy's fingers, he's in limbo, much like your favorite rapper.
I predict that 2010 will see many more artists going the independent route, permanently. Before, indie was the yellow brick road to major stardom. I don't see that staying the same, what with the industry climate, & recession & more wack rappers getting shine than I can shake a wack stick at. Guys like Charles Hamilton, who had the right idea but failed miserably, will become the norm. After all, an artist's dream is to be paid for their masterpieces. That's not going to happen though, as long as the entertainer allows record executives to have sex with their futures. Might as well masturbate, so to speak, & be solely in charge of the outcome.
[tony's note: ha! i didn't notice that zinger until I typed it!...]
Wanna be rap stars beware. These labels aren't playing fair, have no interest in your prosperity, & would quicker leave you a penniless bum than make you a star. When I was younger, phase 2 of being a "rapper" was trotting your demo tape into an office & meeting some douche nozzle A&R, with the hopes of tickling his fancy [||] enough to be considered on their roster. Nowadays, the requirements are hoops & hurdles so extreme that, by the time you make a name for yourself, what would you need a label for. It's pimping & pandering, & niggas are lining up to go pro. Or, maybe not.
We can all thank Soulja Boy for having the balls to go for broke on his own laurels & scruples. This one goofy kid turned to 'Net into his personal billboard, & that move took him to the top of Billboard. Anybody who doubted him is surely kicking themselves in the ass while their great-grandparents "superman that hoe" at their 50th wedding anniversary. His was a definite game changer, & not a trend as the big whigs hoped it would be. Maybe if they wise up, the recording industry can salvage whatever control of our ears they have left. People don't want to hear what "they" want us to hear, & that's why radio is dying as I type. Even satellite radio is catching a bad rap. What happened with the radio was tasteless program directors, payola, & a tainted musical gene pool, offering little-to-no talent. Who the fuck wants to hear a Flo Rida song, much less in constant rotation between 4 different shows? Those with the talent were relegated to the underground circuit, or the DJ mix shows that only spun real rap from 12 to 2 AM. They would've been better not playing those albums at all, because when the people noticed that there's still good music to be had, they demanded it. & when those jerks refused to play "good" music, opting instead to shove overwhelming amounts of monkey shit down our collective throats, the radio lost all credibility as a reliably source of music. At that exact point, the 'Net became the place to be. & has been ever since. The last time I listened to urban radio, G-Unit was still selling records.
My dad always said, "If you want something done right, do it yourself". Word. Once rappers truly understand how easily that can be achieved, labels better take notice or get turned off, just like the radio.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
small things to a GIANT...
50 Cent's last album, 'Before I Self Destruct', isn't moving Fiddy's usual amount of units. Blame the downloads from the 'Net prelease(c), blame the egregious, self-centered behaviors exhibited by Curtis over the last 5 years, blame the decline of physical record sales for most artists, hell, blame the Hip Hopper's ear finally growing deaf to mediocre lyrics & less than stellar word play--just don't tell Gucci Mane that, because he won't believe you. But, I'll bet there's one thing that no man can possibly blame his current, lackluster status on.
Any. Other. Rapper.
In all seriousness, Curtis Jackson is a giant. Maybe not by Yao Ming implications, but definitely in his presence. People say his name like Candyman. Let it be the wrong nigga doing so, & the after effects would mimic those in the movie of the same name. There's no denying that 50 Cent is arguably the most popular rapper in the world, in the same weight class as Jay-Z, Eminem, & Snoop Dogg. Having such stature avails one's self to copious amounts of high self esteem, at borderline toxic levels. This is evident in his career-long taunting of lesser opponents, starting with Ja Rule who, coincidentally, hasn't been the same since. Those who chose to bite his bait, usually find themselves in a battle that's 20% rap records, 10% aggression, & 70% real-time humiliation. It's not so much that he defeats his enemies, per se, but their lives, played out for the public to nitpick & dissect, implode & cave around them. If there was some type of WBF-esque record, he'd be like 9W, 0L, 1T. That "tie" would go to Rick Ross, just because 50's flailing record sales coincide with their on-going rivalry. Indeed, 50 pulled all the punches in attempts to discredit Ross' existence, like any good bully should, but ultimately, Ross released the better music. & after all, this is the music industry, no?
Besides, something as small as record sales isn't going to stop Curtis from running his trap about how great he is. He's a "musical" monolith, word to the Washington Monument. The only man surly enough to knock him down to mortal standards isn't responding to his teasing. & rightly so, because as soon as Jay-Z utters the smallest non-subliminal word about 50, there's a more than slight chance that 50 would rip Shawn Carter's personal life to itty bitty pieces, then lay them out, one by one, for the (rap) world to see. I don't care how tough a rap dude believes himself to be, no cat (or kitten) wants all his backyard business sitting on front street. So who then, if anyone is in a position to strike a blow? David, thats who.
"David? Fuck is David, sun?"
I don't mean a nigga named David, unless it's sheer coincidence. I mean "David", as in 'David & Goliath'. A smaller, lesser known, everything to gain, nothing to lose-type guy, who can actually hold their own weight, lyrically, without a closet full of skeletons pining for release. The first name that comes to mind is Drake. Now, I'm the first one to tell you never trust a nigga without a mustache, but in his defense, this fella seems relatively harmless in the real world. What's the worse thing he could've done in his life? Aside from not concentrating on growing said mustache. Broken a few Mulatto hearts in Ottowa? Not answered some 'Degrassi High' fan's emails? He doesn't rap about anything that could be misconstrued as "lies", so where would that leave our protagonist? It would leave him with no choice but to actually have to engage in a rap battles, as opposed to making sitcom's based on celebrity lives like the MTV. Because, contrary to popular belief, if Drizzle puts down the vagina monologue & empty bragging, he can actually string some cool verbiage together. Maybe after it's all said & done, they can co-star in a remake of 'Forrest Gump. Lead role optional. No homo, just in case.
If not him, I've been hearing about this dude from Gary, Indiana. Word is he was addicted to Oxycodone, used to rob trains (yes nigga, trains!), has a few gun charges on his resume, was a certified hustler (which can mean a bevy of things these days), & was honorably discharged from boot camp for selling dope & getting drunk. Oh, & dude can rap a taste, also. His name Freddie Gibbs. Don't let the name fool you. Dude's tearing up the mixtape circuit right now, & the mere fact that he has facial hair makes him a more formidable opponent than Aubrey Graham, before he even starts rapping.
See, Ross went at Fiddy with the weapons he had. Rhymes, however unimpressed. Had he not had the team of producers (J.U.S.T.U.S. League), & instead just some home grown talent, looking to make a name for themselves, I doubt Rick's impact would have been so noticeable. He got "lucky", so to speak. Ross is far from a good MC, but good production is like an expensive weave. That shit can fool you long enough, & by the time you find out how bald her head really is, you're already knee-deep in fornication, so that shit no longer matters anyway.
Plenty of 50's targets either ducked & dodged or plead the fifth. Jadakiss was one of the few who decided to spar with the champ, & after they exchanged a few blows, the "fight" was over. Maybe 50 got scared? Maybe 'Kiss decided it may not be worth it. NaS found himself on the business end of a Curtis dis, & he maintained his solidarity until Fif got bored & found something else to sniff around. Of course, there's more people who had the sheer coconuts to stand up to him, but I think Fif knew when he was realisitcally out-"skilled". Like I've said dozens of times, he's a smart motherfucker.
My big homie Combat Jack wishes for a 50/Jay battle, but I'd love to see a young, up & coming rap cat 50 Cent Curtis Jackson.
[tony's note: see what I just did there...?]
[tony's next note: BISD is a good album. fuck what ya heard...]
Any. Other. Rapper.
In all seriousness, Curtis Jackson is a giant. Maybe not by Yao Ming implications, but definitely in his presence. People say his name like Candyman. Let it be the wrong nigga doing so, & the after effects would mimic those in the movie of the same name. There's no denying that 50 Cent is arguably the most popular rapper in the world, in the same weight class as Jay-Z, Eminem, & Snoop Dogg. Having such stature avails one's self to copious amounts of high self esteem, at borderline toxic levels. This is evident in his career-long taunting of lesser opponents, starting with Ja Rule who, coincidentally, hasn't been the same since. Those who chose to bite his bait, usually find themselves in a battle that's 20% rap records, 10% aggression, & 70% real-time humiliation. It's not so much that he defeats his enemies, per se, but their lives, played out for the public to nitpick & dissect, implode & cave around them. If there was some type of WBF-esque record, he'd be like 9W, 0L, 1T. That "tie" would go to Rick Ross, just because 50's flailing record sales coincide with their on-going rivalry. Indeed, 50 pulled all the punches in attempts to discredit Ross' existence, like any good bully should, but ultimately, Ross released the better music. & after all, this is the music industry, no?
Besides, something as small as record sales isn't going to stop Curtis from running his trap about how great he is. He's a "musical" monolith, word to the Washington Monument. The only man surly enough to knock him down to mortal standards isn't responding to his teasing. & rightly so, because as soon as Jay-Z utters the smallest non-subliminal word about 50, there's a more than slight chance that 50 would rip Shawn Carter's personal life to itty bitty pieces, then lay them out, one by one, for the (rap) world to see. I don't care how tough a rap dude believes himself to be, no cat (or kitten) wants all his backyard business sitting on front street. So who then, if anyone is in a position to strike a blow? David, thats who.
"David? Fuck is David, sun?"
I don't mean a nigga named David, unless it's sheer coincidence. I mean "David", as in 'David & Goliath'. A smaller, lesser known, everything to gain, nothing to lose-type guy, who can actually hold their own weight, lyrically, without a closet full of skeletons pining for release. The first name that comes to mind is Drake. Now, I'm the first one to tell you never trust a nigga without a mustache, but in his defense, this fella seems relatively harmless in the real world. What's the worse thing he could've done in his life? Aside from not concentrating on growing said mustache. Broken a few Mulatto hearts in Ottowa? Not answered some 'Degrassi High' fan's emails? He doesn't rap about anything that could be misconstrued as "lies", so where would that leave our protagonist? It would leave him with no choice but to actually have to engage in a rap battles, as opposed to making sitcom's based on celebrity lives like the MTV. Because, contrary to popular belief, if Drizzle puts down the vagina monologue & empty bragging, he can actually string some cool verbiage together. Maybe after it's all said & done, they can co-star in a remake of 'Forrest Gump. Lead role optional. No homo, just in case.
If not him, I've been hearing about this dude from Gary, Indiana. Word is he was addicted to Oxycodone, used to rob trains (yes nigga, trains!), has a few gun charges on his resume, was a certified hustler (which can mean a bevy of things these days), & was honorably discharged from boot camp for selling dope & getting drunk. Oh, & dude can rap a taste, also. His name Freddie Gibbs. Don't let the name fool you. Dude's tearing up the mixtape circuit right now, & the mere fact that he has facial hair makes him a more formidable opponent than Aubrey Graham, before he even starts rapping.
See, Ross went at Fiddy with the weapons he had. Rhymes, however unimpressed. Had he not had the team of producers (J.U.S.T.U.S. League), & instead just some home grown talent, looking to make a name for themselves, I doubt Rick's impact would have been so noticeable. He got "lucky", so to speak. Ross is far from a good MC, but good production is like an expensive weave. That shit can fool you long enough, & by the time you find out how bald her head really is, you're already knee-deep in fornication, so that shit no longer matters anyway.
Plenty of 50's targets either ducked & dodged or plead the fifth. Jadakiss was one of the few who decided to spar with the champ, & after they exchanged a few blows, the "fight" was over. Maybe 50 got scared? Maybe 'Kiss decided it may not be worth it. NaS found himself on the business end of a Curtis dis, & he maintained his solidarity until Fif got bored & found something else to sniff around. Of course, there's more people who had the sheer coconuts to stand up to him, but I think Fif knew when he was realisitcally out-"skilled". Like I've said dozens of times, he's a smart motherfucker.
My big homie Combat Jack wishes for a 50/Jay battle, but I'd love to see a young, up & coming rap cat 50 Cent Curtis Jackson.
[tony's note: see what I just did there...?]
[tony's next note: BISD is a good album. fuck what ya heard...]
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Shoving Match
To all the Lil Wayne fans out there, Rebirth will never be released (4 push backs & counting). & here's why;
Drake.
Wayne didn't follow the blueprint (no Jay-Z) laid out by thousands of Rapscallions before him. Hire down. If a cat is noticeably more talented, do not pull him in under you. That's an entertainment industry sin. Really though. But, he saw Drizzy somewhere, heard his flow, decided that he was the next big thing to blow [||] & scooped him up like some much ice cream (pun intended). Thus, he rendered his lollipop rap useless to the millions of 14 year old hot mama's looking for some music to get pregnant to. Plus, Drake looks better [||]. That right there should've tipped Wayne off.......[||]. Although, that would mean he'd have to find a dude less unattractive than he is, which in itself is probably quite the daunting task.
Anyway...
Weeziana wanted to be a Boss, whilst he was still a worker, thus removing his own self from the, umm, throne in the process. At the rate the Young Money train (no Nicki Minaj) is moving, Wayne's million dollar empire isn't guaranteed, like it was last year. If his label isn't at all excited about him venturing out to a new audience, they damn sure aren't going to be excited about him backward hustling his way through a Carter IV. Hence, numerous push backs for "Rebirth", & only baby-step rumors in regards to a supposed Carter IV. Wait, wasn't there supposed to be a Carter IV, full of unreleased songs already? Maybe Drake's knee won't heal, & Wayne won't have to worry about him stepping on his toes anymore. ROLLING over them though, is another post altogether.
Take Eminem. We've all heard the rumors of how he heard about 50, got his hands on a mixtape & just had to sign him. Do you know why Marshall was so adamant? Because Fif already generated a buzz (step 1, word to Federal Ranga) & he knew that there's no way in Hell 50 would ever out-rhyme him. Em gets his cake, & maintains to be (arguably) the flyest White dude in Hip Hop since MC Serch. Hence, hiatus' aplenty, but no push backs. Meanwhile, not even Rick Ross' buoyancy could keep 50 afloat.
"Before I Self Destruct" has been getting pushed back since this time last year. He's had time. He's had resources. One could only speculate on the exact reasons for delay(s), but I put my money on the diminishing buzz & lack of ferocity. To respond to said political complication, 50 did what he does best; took his hustle to the streets (rather, the 'Nets. "War Angel" is a must have). I guess the real question would be, why even go through the hassles of major label drama & woe if one's in a position to go for the gusto by their lonesome? If the ability is there (i.e. finance), why depend on a middle man?
In a climate like this, music-wise, it would seem like E-1 music would be flooded with D.I.Y. rap acts. What better way to avoid the TI side hustles than to take your destiny into your own hands? Not completely independent, but nowhere near the office building frezy one encounters when employed by a roundtable full of overseers (btw, at the very least, Slaughterhouse is in a great position to launch their brand).
It's impossible to be the boss if you have one.
If Tru Life was able to get out of his, umm, Def Jam contract, surely Curtis Jackson can, especially since his commitment's almost up & Interscope is dropping off dead weight like a sinking oceanliner (what's good Banks?). If Young Money is making such Cash Money movement, why do they even need a sign off on an album, rock 'n' roll, R&B, folk, polka or otherwise? Sounds kind of like this "OATH" I've been hearing so much about lately.
Kids, take note; the best way to avoid a push back is to not stand there in the first place. Create your own lane, study Federal Ranga's 5 step plan, pay your dues, your self, & wait for hard work to pay off. But hey, I'm just a writer. What do I know?
**For More, go to http://www.youtube.com/federalranga "XXLmag.com presents Federal Ranga ON YO ASS!! Part IV: Push Back Deez!"**
Drake.
Wayne didn't follow the blueprint (no Jay-Z) laid out by thousands of Rapscallions before him. Hire down. If a cat is noticeably more talented, do not pull him in under you. That's an entertainment industry sin. Really though. But, he saw Drizzy somewhere, heard his flow, decided that he was the next big thing to blow [||] & scooped him up like some much ice cream (pun intended). Thus, he rendered his lollipop rap useless to the millions of 14 year old hot mama's looking for some music to get pregnant to. Plus, Drake looks better [||]. That right there should've tipped Wayne off.......[||]. Although, that would mean he'd have to find a dude less unattractive than he is, which in itself is probably quite the daunting task.
Anyway...
Weeziana wanted to be a Boss, whilst he was still a worker, thus removing his own self from the, umm, throne in the process. At the rate the Young Money train (no Nicki Minaj) is moving, Wayne's million dollar empire isn't guaranteed, like it was last year. If his label isn't at all excited about him venturing out to a new audience, they damn sure aren't going to be excited about him backward hustling his way through a Carter IV. Hence, numerous push backs for "Rebirth", & only baby-step rumors in regards to a supposed Carter IV. Wait, wasn't there supposed to be a Carter IV, full of unreleased songs already? Maybe Drake's knee won't heal, & Wayne won't have to worry about him stepping on his toes anymore. ROLLING over them though, is another post altogether.
Take Eminem. We've all heard the rumors of how he heard about 50, got his hands on a mixtape & just had to sign him. Do you know why Marshall was so adamant? Because Fif already generated a buzz (step 1, word to Federal Ranga) & he knew that there's no way in Hell 50 would ever out-rhyme him. Em gets his cake, & maintains to be (arguably) the flyest White dude in Hip Hop since MC Serch. Hence, hiatus' aplenty, but no push backs. Meanwhile, not even Rick Ross' buoyancy could keep 50 afloat.
"Before I Self Destruct" has been getting pushed back since this time last year. He's had time. He's had resources. One could only speculate on the exact reasons for delay(s), but I put my money on the diminishing buzz & lack of ferocity. To respond to said political complication, 50 did what he does best; took his hustle to the streets (rather, the 'Nets. "War Angel" is a must have). I guess the real question would be, why even go through the hassles of major label drama & woe if one's in a position to go for the gusto by their lonesome? If the ability is there (i.e. finance), why depend on a middle man?
In a climate like this, music-wise, it would seem like E-1 music would be flooded with D.I.Y. rap acts. What better way to avoid the TI side hustles than to take your destiny into your own hands? Not completely independent, but nowhere near the office building frezy one encounters when employed by a roundtable full of overseers (btw, at the very least, Slaughterhouse is in a great position to launch their brand).
It's impossible to be the boss if you have one.
If Tru Life was able to get out of his, umm, Def Jam contract, surely Curtis Jackson can, especially since his commitment's almost up & Interscope is dropping off dead weight like a sinking oceanliner (what's good Banks?). If Young Money is making such Cash Money movement, why do they even need a sign off on an album, rock 'n' roll, R&B, folk, polka or otherwise? Sounds kind of like this "OATH" I've been hearing so much about lately.
Kids, take note; the best way to avoid a push back is to not stand there in the first place. Create your own lane, study Federal Ranga's 5 step plan, pay your dues, your self, & wait for hard work to pay off. But hey, I'm just a writer. What do I know?
**For More, go to http://www.youtube.com/federalranga "XXLmag.com presents Federal Ranga ON YO ASS!! Part IV: Push Back Deez!"**
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Worst Role Model Alive!
I went to a DMV barbecue Saturday. Imagine every stereotype about it's employees, add outdoors & food, &, Boom!, you're there with me. You're welcome.
There was music of course, & now that I'm in recovery (1 year, 4 months & 1 day), shit is especially clear to me. So, I was noticing the abundance of Young Money artists (namely Drake & Lil Wayne) blaring in the background. Maybe it was the speakers, maybe it was the fact that I seem to be the resident babysitter everywhere I go, but I'll be damned if this dude Wayne isn't the most vulgar rapper in the game right now.
Allow me to reiterate; there's nothing wrong with social cursing. Hell, my son does it (& I think it's hi-larry-us), but once you get so graphic with your exploits that you wouldn't play it for your grandmother, children shouldn't be within earshot range of so much obscenity either.
Now, not only was our isolated corner of the park flooded with kids under 14 years of age, but the 9 & up crowd, boys & girls, were doing all the latest dances to Lil Wayne's various descriptions of what he'll do/has done to "pussy". Sans corniness, I was appalled. I couldn't believe that A) these "parents" would allow me, a stranger, to oversee their kids while they got fat & drunk & B) they had that music playing so loud for so long.
Eleventeen year olds doing the 'Reject' to "I wanna fuck every girl" = EPIC FAIL.
Some of these girls, still months away from their first visit from Aunt Flo(w), were singing right along with the dude. At this point, I'm realizing how much Wayne is manufacturing these girls to accept, no, expect themselves to be mere playthings of men; manipulated & tossed aside for the next lucky chap to wipe his genitilia with. The girls were singing his songs, & all the boys were dressed just like him. & although a picture's worth a thousand words, I'm hard pressed to find 950 more words that equate to "ridiculous".
Really though. I was the only parent who saw a flaw in the DJ's attempt at keeping the function cracking. & I'm sure these kids know all the same douche nozzle, trivial trivia about Wayne as I do; The babies, the drugs, the condoning of violence, the total disregard for womankind, & yet, they adhered to his music, unexplicibly. Last year, he was the best rapper alive. Now, he's the worst role model ever.
I've more/less considered myself a casual fan of Wayne's music over the years. I've witnessed flashes of brilliance, I've seen signs of retardation. But, this Drake-flavored second wind he's campaigning right now is Ugh, to the nth degree (yeah, "nth", look it up). I can't co-sign him anymore, simply based off the fact that, judging by his words, he'd try to bone my daughter then kill me if given the chance. No Dice. That syrup & coke has officially turned this cat into a zombie.
I try not to take Rap music too seriously, but, I'll make an exception on this one.
There was music of course, & now that I'm in recovery (1 year, 4 months & 1 day), shit is especially clear to me. So, I was noticing the abundance of Young Money artists (namely Drake & Lil Wayne) blaring in the background. Maybe it was the speakers, maybe it was the fact that I seem to be the resident babysitter everywhere I go, but I'll be damned if this dude Wayne isn't the most vulgar rapper in the game right now.
Allow me to reiterate; there's nothing wrong with social cursing. Hell, my son does it (& I think it's hi-larry-us), but once you get so graphic with your exploits that you wouldn't play it for your grandmother, children shouldn't be within earshot range of so much obscenity either.
Now, not only was our isolated corner of the park flooded with kids under 14 years of age, but the 9 & up crowd, boys & girls, were doing all the latest dances to Lil Wayne's various descriptions of what he'll do/has done to "pussy". Sans corniness, I was appalled. I couldn't believe that A) these "parents" would allow me, a stranger, to oversee their kids while they got fat & drunk & B) they had that music playing so loud for so long.
Eleventeen year olds doing the 'Reject' to "I wanna fuck every girl" = EPIC FAIL.
Some of these girls, still months away from their first visit from Aunt Flo(w), were singing right along with the dude. At this point, I'm realizing how much Wayne is manufacturing these girls to accept, no, expect themselves to be mere playthings of men; manipulated & tossed aside for the next lucky chap to wipe his genitilia with. The girls were singing his songs, & all the boys were dressed just like him. & although a picture's worth a thousand words, I'm hard pressed to find 950 more words that equate to "ridiculous".
Really though. I was the only parent who saw a flaw in the DJ's attempt at keeping the function cracking. & I'm sure these kids know all the same douche nozzle, trivial trivia about Wayne as I do; The babies, the drugs, the condoning of violence, the total disregard for womankind, & yet, they adhered to his music, unexplicibly. Last year, he was the best rapper alive. Now, he's the worst role model ever.
I've more/less considered myself a casual fan of Wayne's music over the years. I've witnessed flashes of brilliance, I've seen signs of retardation. But, this Drake-flavored second wind he's campaigning right now is Ugh, to the nth degree (yeah, "nth", look it up). I can't co-sign him anymore, simply based off the fact that, judging by his words, he'd try to bone my daughter then kill me if given the chance. No Dice. That syrup & coke has officially turned this cat into a zombie.
I try not to take Rap music too seriously, but, I'll make an exception on this one.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
My Open Letter To Drake: Rough Draft
Dear Drizzy Drake,
First of all, I'm not a fan. Feel free to find something better to do than to respond to this letter. It won't bother me one bit. In fact, it's not an accident that there's no return address.
I've noticed that you may not be getting a fair shot. Maybe its because of Wayne, although personally, I've forgiven him for kissing a man & making the "homo hobo" look so popular. Maybe it's because you'll forever be known as "Wheelchair Jimmy". You know folks can be so unforgiving to the handicap. All uppity with their fancy chairs & special parking spaces & sh!t.
I have some advice for you, if you're willing to overlook the fact that I'm not a 13 year old white girl. I think I can help correct a few made missteps & prevent possible future ones.
Let's start with the (lack of) facial hair. I don't know how many uncles you have, but it only takes one to tell you that people don't trust a Black man without any. Even if he's only half Black. You don't need a full-lipped Eddie Murphy-esque nose tickler. You could just rock one of those drawn in Ginuwine joints. Mascara pencils do the job, in case you don't have enough testosterone to grow it yourself. I assume you can grow one, seeing as your about 32 years old. I'm sure "Young Money" wouldn't be so young if n!gg@s actually looked like they were to old to dry hump pre-teens though, so I understand.
Also, in todays rap climate, you need to be somewhat intimidating. At least a little. Since you've sided with Wayne, there's more than enough rappers to beef with. But I say, you not make it interesting? Slap the sh!t out of Kanye. Its not like he'll return the favor. You two could slap & scratch one another without any real damage being done. Or, if that's too close to home, Charles Hamilton needs some publicity also. Listen, if that broad cleaned his clock, even you should have no problem servicing his wrist watch. Tread lightly though, you're not the only rapper looking to get his ghetto pass reinstated. J-Hood's on a bender this year.
I realize that Obama made being a (moustache-less) halfer cool, but you're not a politician. You only got the "most popular" vote in High School because Canada's underwhelmed with a Black populus. & don't do anything silly, like grow braids or a 'fro. That will undoubtedly add to the amount of minstrelty that you already exude. Its hard out here for a beige n!gg@ trying to spit raps. Remember, when the kids see listen to you, you make them curious as to the euphoria of sex before one's ready. I though R. Kelly copyrighted that, though. But, when other rappers listen, trust, they smell cotton candy & lemon squares. It's mad alpha males looking for something to eat, holmes. Invest in a bodyguard for right now, because I doubt anyway fears Weezy OR Tyga.
Also, you may want to tone down the promiscuious songs. Or at least aim them towards adult females. At this juncture, you're basically a child molestation case waiting to pop. Its true. Once a picture of you with the 5 0'clock shadow leaks, being surrounded by a bunch of girls who just got their periods is not going to be so enticing. Unless, that is, its true that you're a pedophile. You'd better start asking for ID, mister. These 14 year olds be hot to trot nowadays. Touching kids stopped being okay when Nickolodeon didn't renew your contract.
& don't wear any more purple outfits. It makes you look like the biggest piece of Mystery Mix Now 'n' Later ever made. Too sweet for most cats. Unless, of course that's what you're into.
Hopefully, I've been of some sort of service. No need to thank me. Just don't try & have sex with my underage daughter, & we'll call it even, Steven. I mean Aubrey.
Easy.
Tony Grand$
First of all, I'm not a fan. Feel free to find something better to do than to respond to this letter. It won't bother me one bit. In fact, it's not an accident that there's no return address.
I've noticed that you may not be getting a fair shot. Maybe its because of Wayne, although personally, I've forgiven him for kissing a man & making the "homo hobo" look so popular. Maybe it's because you'll forever be known as "Wheelchair Jimmy". You know folks can be so unforgiving to the handicap. All uppity with their fancy chairs & special parking spaces & sh!t.
I have some advice for you, if you're willing to overlook the fact that I'm not a 13 year old white girl. I think I can help correct a few made missteps & prevent possible future ones.
Let's start with the (lack of) facial hair. I don't know how many uncles you have, but it only takes one to tell you that people don't trust a Black man without any. Even if he's only half Black. You don't need a full-lipped Eddie Murphy-esque nose tickler. You could just rock one of those drawn in Ginuwine joints. Mascara pencils do the job, in case you don't have enough testosterone to grow it yourself. I assume you can grow one, seeing as your about 32 years old. I'm sure "Young Money" wouldn't be so young if n!gg@s actually looked like they were to old to dry hump pre-teens though, so I understand.
Also, in todays rap climate, you need to be somewhat intimidating. At least a little. Since you've sided with Wayne, there's more than enough rappers to beef with. But I say, you not make it interesting? Slap the sh!t out of Kanye. Its not like he'll return the favor. You two could slap & scratch one another without any real damage being done. Or, if that's too close to home, Charles Hamilton needs some publicity also. Listen, if that broad cleaned his clock, even you should have no problem servicing his wrist watch. Tread lightly though, you're not the only rapper looking to get his ghetto pass reinstated. J-Hood's on a bender this year.
I realize that Obama made being a (moustache-less) halfer cool, but you're not a politician. You only got the "most popular" vote in High School because Canada's underwhelmed with a Black populus. & don't do anything silly, like grow braids or a 'fro. That will undoubtedly add to the amount of minstrelty that you already exude. Its hard out here for a beige n!gg@ trying to spit raps. Remember, when the kids see listen to you, you make them curious as to the euphoria of sex before one's ready. I though R. Kelly copyrighted that, though. But, when other rappers listen, trust, they smell cotton candy & lemon squares. It's mad alpha males looking for something to eat, holmes. Invest in a bodyguard for right now, because I doubt anyway fears Weezy OR Tyga.
Also, you may want to tone down the promiscuious songs. Or at least aim them towards adult females. At this juncture, you're basically a child molestation case waiting to pop. Its true. Once a picture of you with the 5 0'clock shadow leaks, being surrounded by a bunch of girls who just got their periods is not going to be so enticing. Unless, that is, its true that you're a pedophile. You'd better start asking for ID, mister. These 14 year olds be hot to trot nowadays. Touching kids stopped being okay when Nickolodeon didn't renew your contract.
& don't wear any more purple outfits. It makes you look like the biggest piece of Mystery Mix Now 'n' Later ever made. Too sweet for most cats. Unless, of course that's what you're into.
Hopefully, I've been of some sort of service. No need to thank me. Just don't try & have sex with my underage daughter, & we'll call it even, Steven. I mean Aubrey.
Easy.
Tony Grand$
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