small things to a GIANT...

50 Cent's last album, 'Before I Self Destruct', isn't moving Fiddy's usual amount of units. Blame the downloads from the 'Net prelease(c), blame the egregious, self-centered behaviors exhibited by Curtis over the last 5 years, blame the decline of physical record sales for most artists, hell, blame the Hip Hopper's ear finally growing deaf to mediocre lyrics & less than stellar word play--just don't tell Gucci Mane that, because he won't believe you. But, I'll bet there's one thing that no man can possibly blame his current, lackluster status on.


Any. Other. Rapper.


In all seriousness, Curtis Jackson is a giant. Maybe not by Yao Ming implications, but definitely in his presence. People say his name like Candyman. Let it be the wrong nigga doing so, & the after effects would mimic those in the movie of the same name. There's no denying that 50 Cent is arguably the most popular rapper in the world, in the same weight class as Jay-Z, Eminem, & Snoop Dogg. Having such stature avails one's self to copious amounts of high self esteem, at borderline toxic levels. This is evident in his career-long taunting of lesser opponents, starting with Ja Rule who, coincidentally, hasn't been the same since. Those who chose to bite his bait, usually find themselves in a battle that's 20% rap records, 10% aggression, & 70% real-time humiliation. It's not so much that he defeats his enemies, per se, but their lives, played out for the public to nitpick & dissect, implode & cave around them. If there was some type of WBF-esque record, he'd be like 9W, 0L, 1T. That "tie" would go to Rick Ross, just because 50's flailing record sales coincide with their on-going rivalry. Indeed, 50 pulled all the punches in attempts to discredit Ross' existence, like any good bully should, but ultimately, Ross released the better music. & after all, this is the music industry, no?


Besides, something as small as record sales isn't going to stop Curtis from running his trap about how great he is. He's a "musical" monolith, word to the Washington Monument. The only man surly enough to knock him down to mortal standards isn't responding to his teasing. & rightly so, because as soon as Jay-Z utters the smallest non-subliminal word about 50, there's a more than slight chance that 50 would rip Shawn Carter's personal life to itty bitty pieces, then lay them out, one by one, for the (rap) world to see. I don't care how tough a rap dude believes himself to be, no cat (or kitten) wants all his backyard business sitting on front street. So who then, if anyone is in a position to strike a blow? David, thats who.


"David? Fuck is David, sun?"


I don't mean a nigga named David, unless it's sheer coincidence. I mean "David", as in 'David & Goliath'. A smaller, lesser known, everything to gain, nothing to lose-type guy, who can actually hold their own weight, lyrically, without a closet full of skeletons pining for release. The first name that comes to mind is Drake. Now, I'm the first one to tell you never trust a nigga without a mustache, but in his defense, this fella seems relatively harmless in the real world. What's the worse thing he could've done in his life? Aside from not concentrating on growing said mustache. Broken a few Mulatto hearts in Ottowa? Not answered some 'Degrassi High' fan's emails? He doesn't rap about anything that could be misconstrued as "lies", so where would that leave our protagonist? It would leave him with no choice but to actually have to engage in a rap battles, as opposed to making sitcom's based on celebrity lives like the MTV. Because, contrary to popular belief, if Drizzle puts down the vagina monologue & empty bragging, he can actually string some cool verbiage together. Maybe after it's all said & done, they can co-star in a remake of 'Forrest Gump. Lead role optional. No homo, just in case.


If not him, I've been hearing about this dude from Gary, Indiana. Word is he was addicted to Oxycodone, used to rob trains (yes nigga, trains!), has a few gun charges on his resume, was a certified hustler (which can mean a bevy of things these days), & was honorably discharged from boot camp for selling dope & getting drunk. Oh, & dude can rap a taste, also. His name Freddie Gibbs. Don't let the name fool you. Dude's tearing up the mixtape circuit right now, & the mere fact that he has facial hair makes him a more formidable opponent than Aubrey Graham, before he even starts rapping.


See, Ross went at Fiddy with the weapons he had. Rhymes, however unimpressed. Had he not had the team of producers (J.U.S.T.U.S. League), & instead just some home grown talent, looking to make a name for themselves, I doubt Rick's impact would have been so noticeable. He got "lucky", so to speak. Ross is far from a good MC, but good production is like an expensive weave. That shit can fool you long enough, & by the time you find out how bald her head really is, you're already knee-deep in fornication, so that shit no longer matters anyway.


Plenty of 50's targets either ducked & dodged or plead the fifth. Jadakiss was one of the few who decided to spar with the champ, & after they exchanged a few blows, the "fight" was over. Maybe 50 got scared? Maybe 'Kiss decided it may not be worth it. NaS found himself on the business end of a Curtis dis, & he maintained his solidarity until Fif got bored & found something else to sniff around. Of course, there's more people who had the sheer coconuts to stand up to him, but I think Fif knew when he was realisitcally out-"skilled". Like I've said dozens of times, he's a smart motherfucker.


My big homie Combat Jack wishes for a 50/Jay battle, but I'd love to see a young, up & coming rap cat 50 Cent Curtis Jackson.


[tony's note: see what I just did there...?]


[tony's next note: BISD is a good album. fuck what ya heard...]

Chess Boxin' With Curtis Jackson

I've heard it said, numerous times, that in order to hate something, you have to had loved it at some point. & I'll admit, I was a huge fan of Curtis Jackson when he emerged in the 90's. He was like a breath of fresh air; he successful combined the degenerative qualities of the West Coast's gang mentality with the gritty, hustle aesthetic of the East Coast. It was a very simple formula, & I'm sure it had been experimented with previous to 50's efforts, but for whatever reason, his execution was flawless. It didn't hurt that he played the "victim-turned-victor" card repeatedly, either. His mom was murdered in the street where she hustled, he grew up father less, thusly turning to the same life his mother lived, only to be almost killed. Here is where his story begins to apex. He decided that he'd be the biggest thing in rap music ever. He seemingly dedicated his life to this ambition. & it showed on his debut album, 'Get Rich Or Die Trying", which still moves units to this day.


For plenty of rap fans & Hip Hop heads alike, this is where the love started becoming hate.


His assaults became the pinnacle of his "talent". What began as attacks on Ja Rule, spread to Fat Joe, NaS, Jadakiss, Jay-Z, among others, & most notably Rick Ross. Rick Ross is an uber-gangsta rapper who built his musical empire on borrowed drug fantasies & genocidal undertones. Oh, & thanks to 50 Cent, Rick Ross was exposed as an ex-correctional officer, contrary to the content of 95% of his music. The other 5% was based on his sexual prowess. Laugh out loud. Ross stuck to his audio guns, releasing good music, while 50 took to the 'Net with comedy skits, stalked Ross' mother at work, & even produced a porno with one of Ross' baby mothers, & helped the other one ink a book deal for a tell-all book on the most famous rapper the world never heard of.


50 has the unrelenting ability to strategically place himself in front of the cameras when it's necessary (i.e. around the time he's about to drop an album). For the most part, it's always been a successful move, except his latest album, 'Before I Self Destruct', was scheduled to be released last year, at the height of the Rick Ross onslaught. It never happened. The album was continuously pushed back to it's apparent release date, this November. & not-so-coincedentally, he's in the mix again.


Jay-Z, & his former artist Beanie Sigel have drifted apart due to Jay's "shady" business dealings, & Beans is set to let the entire world know about his ex-boss' wayward conductivity. Suprisingly (or not really), 50 Cent just happened to be there to scoop up a wounded Beanie & give him the platform to air his grievances. There's a lot of back & forth fact-checking between Jay & Sigel, but the true champion in this melee is 50. He singlehandedly put his name back into the street, like he's known to do, on the backs of two men, former friends, that have nothing at all to do with 50 Cent.


Now, if that's not politics in it's rawest, most uncut, I don't know what is.


With rumors of Beanie Sigel being signed to Curtis' G-Unit Records (which has proven not to mean a whole helluva lot these days), 50's chess playing is paying off tremendously. Beans, 50's pawn, is checkmating Jay-Z's king. One wonders what Jay's queen (not Beyonce, y'all) move will be. In all honesty, Shawn Carter is bigger than rap, so it won't take much to block any move by 50 Cent. The point is that, 50 Cent, regardless to what people think about him, is probably the smartest player in the rap industry. He came, he saw, & he's conquering from a business level.


I'll concede that he'll most likely never again "wow" me with a lyric or song concept, but I sense that he's off that (no pun intended). Seems like it's more about conquest, & until industry cats smarten up, dude will be like Hip Hop's Genghis Khan. When he released his book earlier this year, 'The 50th Law of Power', semi-sequel to Robert Greene's "The 48 Laws Of Power', many dismissed it as another cashocow being milked, similar to his mineral water venture & his acting career. But, if the proof is truly in the pudding, I wouldn't be surprised if Bill Cosby shows up in his next video.


50's not playing checkers, people. It's more like a hood savvy 'Monopoly'/'Chess' hybrid, & he's the only one who knows the rules. Or at least, that's how it seems.

Jeffrey's Revenge (or Rule Reloaded..?)

“That's the motherfucking first blog on Rule York TV on the iPhizzle cam, nigga. I'm getting a lot of hardcore footage. All you bitch ass niggas out there, I'm letting y'all know I'm coming and I'm fucking, oh, I got a chip on my shoulders this year, bitch."-Ja Rule via Rule York TV

Wow. That's just what we needed. Another rap star with a video camera & a web site to update us on his current activities. Perhaps he's too gangsta for Twitter. Not that I have a Twitter account, so I wouldn't know regardless. The closest I come to tweeting is getting pointless messages from my wife via Blackberry Messenger. To which I respond, "I'll see you when you get home." Somebody let me know when Jesus Christ signs onto Twitter though. That way, I can get a heads up on Judgment Day.

Ja Rule's using his fresh-out-the-box vlog to announce his re-entry into the Hip Hop foray. Can't say that I'm excited, but I bet Ashanti is. It'll give her relevance again. God knows she was a huge piece of Curtis' campaign collateral damage. In fact, ALL of Murder Inc. Records was. Even a shirtless, oiled-down, underage Lloyd wasn't strong enough to carry Irv Gotti's wet dream. Rule's stardom revolved around RnB thuggery & Fat Joe pseudo-fan overflow. If Tupac & DMX had've conceived a lovechild, Jeffrey Atkins would have been it. He was good at what he did, too; giving homothugs coast to coast something to hum while they got their next neck tattoo. But, thanks to the relentless Terminator rapper (Get it? Shoot him & he still keeps coming atcha!), all those good things came to an end.

Until now.

“Nothing fucking stale, nothing faded, brand new, nigga. Get ready. I'm lettin' y'all niggas know, man, you got about 60 to 90 days then I'ma put my dick in your mouth, man. Watch yourselves homies, telling you!"-Ja Rule via Rule York TV

No Homo?

Todays market is rife with emo-rap mercenaries who are hellbent on proving a point. Gangsta rap has taken a (May)back seat to lip rings & liquid denim. Our biggest 2 proponents of such music are M.I.A. (Fif & Ro$$), leaving just enough room for a little dude to sneak in & [re]claim a spot in the light. Enters Ja Rule. In the same breath, this cat busted guns & nuts without provocation. & from the sounds of his, umm, digital warning shots fired, he'll be back on his bullshit within a few short months.

The only good I see coming from this is 50's reaction. This may be exactly what the G-Unit machine needs to leave the office building & go back into the gutters it crawled out of. I, for one, am excited [||]. I never saw the Ro$$/50 battle musically escalate to the same proportions as 50/Ja. & one point, it seemed as if Lloyd Banks was doing all the footwork lyrically, while Curtis wrote stand-up routines for his James Brown-meets-Rick James character Curly. For whatever reason, 50 never delivered the final blow to make Rick feel a need to shave his beard, lose 138 lbs., & relocate to Europe with his career, like many predicted. He almost, but not quite, got Ja Rule'd.

I've always said that Ro$$ was too stupid to know he lost, & in an "ignorance is bliss" type way, he couldn't be defeated. He's like the Cheddar Bob of coke rap.

But in this case, Fif mega-ethered Ja's career. Fuck a knock out, dude's been in a coma. Now, years later, audaciously, Jeffrey wakes up flailing wildly for all the Net to witness, as if the real Ja Rule fans bought hyperbaric chambers & stayed 16 years old through cryogenic stasis for the last 7 years. Sorry about the sci-fi nerdgasm.

Curtis Jackson has to be pissed.

So, maybe this is the motivation needed for a trip back to the Dollar/GRODT/mixtape days. 50 could easily sit back & allow Rule to hit the ground running, confident that he made this man go Bin Laden; rarely being seen & occasionally throwing darts from a cave somewhere in East Bubblefuck. Or, 50 could take every single thing that Ja says from this day forward as a personal attack & get all "G-G-G-G-G-G-Unit!!" on that dude. Suffice it to say that most of us would prefer the latter. Put down that neck tie & pick up a bandanna, per se.

Ja Rule has admitted himself in interviews that when one is so innovative that a whole industry bites their blueprint, its hard to re-emerge, hence the “Nothing fucking stale, nothing faded, brand new, nigga". What does that mean? Auto-tune? No Dice. That would surely be hustling backwards & the well deserved nail in a coffin 50 lowered into the Earth years ago.

True, the crowd loves the underdog, but, in this scenario, who exactly would that be? The man with something to prove, or, the man with nothing to lose?

Maybe, just maybe, 50 still has some gas in his reserve tank. Then again, maybe Ja's been training like Rashard Evans to knock out Chuck Lidell. Sometimes, legends do fall.