Wild, Wild (Delonte) West

"Cleveland Cavaliers guard Delonte West was arrested Thursday night in Upper Marlboro, Md. after officers pulled him over for speeding on a motorcycle and discovered he was carrying a loaded shotgun in a guitar case and two loaded handguns."-via AP.

Damn! Add a vampire, a white girl & somebody saying the word "nigga" pointlessly & this would be the beginning of a Tarantino movie.

Anybody not familiar with basketball at least knows who LeBron James is. Okay, D. West plays on the same team as that guy. In fact, he might possibly be one of the beigest negros in the league. Anyone who is well-versed on their NBA trivia knows that their team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, was almost a shoe-in to go toe to toe with the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals last season, until they got their asses handed to them by the Orlando Magic.

The Orlando Magic was the team Shaquille O'Neal played for his rookie year, when he was breaking backboards as opposed to now, his 37th season, where he's whoring himself out on lame TV shows, wearing pink speedo bikinis (ugh) & pretending to be a police officer. Nigga, please; a .38 slug will quiet even the largest man, believe that. Coincedentally, O'Neal now plays for the Cavs also. Perhaps he was an arresting officer. At the least, he'd probably heard about D. West planning to shoot up a daycare center & called 911.

As for Delonte West, what can I say that his first name or his penitentiary tattoos haven't already? Dare I say without sounding a tad bit racist, but his mother should've known that a day like this would eventually happen with a name like Delonte. He probably suffers from the same debilitating syndrome that I did once; light skin paranoia. It makes you feel as though you must prove something, especially when surrounded by a bunch of certifiable Black guys. I'm sure it's a variant of how the mulatto house niggers felt when they had to hold down the foot that was about to be chopped off. After that, it was almost madatory that they sexed the Bossman's wife, to show the field hands they were still down.

"Police said a handgun was found in West's pocket, another in his pant leg and a shotgun in a guitar case strapped to his back. They said West, 26, was cooperative."-via AP.

Cooperative is a word police use so they don't have to say, "if he had've blinked too loudly, he would've had more holes in him than a bum's boxer shorts...". Whatever was going through his curly head during that re-enactment of any Arnold Schwarzenegger movie surely was snapped back to reality when the One Times lit him up. "Cooperative" indeed. What would possess a semi-successful, regionally famous, third-string bench warmer to mount up & ride out with so many guns?

"Last year [season], West left training camp to seek treatment for depression and a "mood disorder" he said he has battled his entire life."-via AP

Oh. He must've been smoking that "funny" weed since his days in junior high school continuation classes. You know most light skinned Black dudes say they only smoke "that good shit" anyway, only to one day freak out & lose hold of their fleeting careers, a la Al B. Sure. Last time I saw Al B., he was buying dollar chili burgers at an AM/PM by LAX. Only crazy motherfuckers eat those things. & only crazy motherfuckers put shotguns in guitar cases like this was an episode of Bonanza.

Was he depressed because his team didn't make it as far in the playoffs as projected? No Dice. Lame excuse. Instead of spending time watching episodes of 'White Shadow' & smoking pot, he should've taken his high yellow ass to a gymnasium, & helped LeBron. That way, when they did finally lose to the Magic, he would've have a tangible reason for a "mood disorder". I don't wish jail on any man, but I don't see any philanthropist's investing in a "stupid niggas time-out establishment", so let the punishment fit the crime.

Ain't no telling where he was going with all those hammers. Might've been on his way to see Kobe Bryant, & we can't be have that. We need another championship...