Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye West: Douchebag Deluxe

If Taylor Swift has never had any Black friends, she sure as hell won't now. Thanks to Kanye, she probably believes every stereotype her grandparents ever tried to instill in her regarding n-words. I could've sworn I saw her flinch, when he broke into his estrogen-induced tirade, like she was preparing to get slapped across the face & have her purse stolen.

[Blogger's note: For those that don't know (what rock do YOU live under?), Taylor Swift, country singer, received the MTV Video Music Award for best female music video. Appalled, Kanye West stormed the staged, snatched the mic from Swift during her acceptance ramble, & declared Beyonce Knowles the unofficial recipient of that award. Later in the show, Beyonce allowed Swift to finish the speech Kanye so rudely interrupted.]

That MTV video award was hers. She rightfully earned the coveted Moon Man, whether Blacks had heard of her or not. & to think, she was most likely semi-prepared with her victory speech, family watching anxiously, & suddenly, Kanye lets the fishsticks out of the man-bag. It seems that all those years of wearing clothing that prevents proper blood circulation has rendered him unable to think straight. Either that, or it's true what "they" say about White woman.

I think he just wanted everybody to see his new haircut before his naps grew back & covered up the road map he had carved into his head. Like dudes who wear fire engine red tennis shoes just so you'll look at them. Kanye's always been a glutton for the spotlight, & let's face it; ever since Drake wheel-chaired his way into our collective hearts, Kanye's been relegated to "that guy who's dating Amber Rose.". That has to do mean things to an ego that big. Perhaps, behind those shades he never removes, he's weeping, gently, like a child who watched her drunken step dad beat a kitten to death with a Barbie doll.

It would seem that, after that traumatic car accident that left him with his jaw wired shut, losing his moms, & that girl leaving him, Kanye would have achieved some higher level of humility. No Dice. He's still stepping over the little people to piss off of a balcony ledge.

Taylor Swift, on the other hand, is being viewed as the damsel in distress, who was rescued by a very bootylicious Beyonce Knowles-Carter, & returned to her perch so she could continue to sing. In that 5 minute interval, she probably gained every older, white female fan that Kanye lost. You know, the ones who liked his music because they thought he was one of "the good ones", & danced to "Golddigger" as they drove their kids to soccer practice. Now, he's one of "those people", & TMZ will be accusing him of smoking crack rocks by Friday.

See, I'm all for artistic expression & personal opinion. But, this was a clear-cut case of the kid who gets picked on finally finding someone "smaller" than him. He may have been accurate with what he said, about Be's video being better (if only for all the ass cheeks bouncing around on screen), but he wouldn't have done that to a more formidable opponent. Say that had've been Mary J. Blige. She would have probably shot him in the stomach. Even Jennifer Hudson would've handed him his ass on a platter, or suplexed him, since her husband is a wrestler & has undoubtedly taught her a couple of moves for a situation just like this. Though he's wise enough to pick battles he can win, exactly what type of war is he waging when the enemy is a 19 year old country singer?

Rappers already have a bad name, & once America feels they can't even trust the sensitive ones, not even the mighty Barack Obama himself will be able to stop the anti-civil rights movement. Face it; Serena's putting hits out on a line judge & Jay-Z has been outed as satan. It's been a hard few days for Americans of African descent. My buddy P! just informed me that he'd received a chain text that said "Kanye hates white people. Go back to Africa". My advice, stay away from any "picnics" for the next couple of months, niggas.

So what did we learn today? Nothing we didn't already know. Celebrities are mindless douche nozzles & America waits on any opportunity to rear it's racist under-belly. & according to Kanye, even gay black men aren't harmless anymore.


Ozzie O. said...

Good drop, I have been sleeping on you homie, should add you to the list of my favourite hip-hop writers.

shante carlan ; said...

"I think he just wanted everybody to see his new haircut before his naps grew back & covered up the road map he had carved into his head."

LMAO! I was waiting on your take of last nite's events!

Don said...

Did u get J7's address?


Curtis75Black said...

Well done !! Funny thing is, he's constantly caring about something he shouldn't be - awards, from MTV no less !! Any emcee not from this era would've gotten dissed for that alone. remember Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince ? Sellout talk with the 1st Hip Hop Grammy. Kanye has basicaly broken every law our four Fathers had to abide by to keep their rep intact. Maybe Hip Hop fans are finally litening up or just desperate to keep our music in the forefront.

Tony Grands said...

Thanks everyone!


ray said...

oh man! first time here. dallas penn shouted u out.

very funny! i'll be back!


Matt said...

What up, Grand$? I responded again to our convo the other day, but XXL blocked it so I put it on the corresponding page in your blogs.

Anyway, I wouldn't let anything Kanye does alter my opinion of blacks or homosexuals in any way. I'm old enough to know he doesn't represent anyone but himself and anything he's affiliated with will soon be played out. It's not that I don't like him, I think his music is alright, but son has a serious ego problem. I don't care that Taylor is white, I care that she's actually attempting to be wholesome and humble coming up in her lane and that fool Kanye just stepped all over her shit like she don't matter. I'd feel that way if he'd done that to anyone deserving an award.

Watching his bitch ass letting the Hennessy release his demons is great motivation for staying sober, no? That's the kind of shit I despise. Otherwise cool people that turn into fucking monsters when they get drunk...and they SEEK the alcohol because they like their alter-ego. Kanye's weak, though...I would have appreciated if he'd just bust out crying on Leno's show...if not but just to prove he's still weak, hiding behind a facade. Maybe next time...


--OG Matt Herbz--

Tony Grands said...


What's good homie...

Yeah, I got that response on that thread. It's all love, my dude (yes hetero).

Far as Kanye, realistically he's one of thousands of d-bags that we deal with on a regular. Hell, I wish he'd spaz more often. Might as well show the world that he's the King Nut Case & keep giving me shit to write about. Ftr, I don't think it's a race issue either. Americans lay in wait for some reason to spit epithets (sexual, racial, etc). Between Wilson & West, the slurs are footloose & fancy free. Hey, gotta love it though. The cogs of society wouldn't turn without such retarded lubricant, unfortunately.

Holler @ your boy, mayne. Easy...

Kiana said...

So I realized this weekend that I'm a Kanye stan because even though what he did was clearly wrong, I still love him. Lol I need help.

Anywho I'm a bit annoyed by the fact that people keep making general statements about black people based on the actions of a few. So many people are associating bitchassness with blackness and historically we haven't had a monopoly on it. I'm just saying...

Truthfully douches come in every color. I think a lot of the racist backlash stems from the fear that the nigras are stepping out of place. Pretty pathetic.

somebody said...