Thursday, September 3, 2009

Shawn Carter>Jay-Z

Jesus H. Christ himself would have a hard time convincing me that Shawn Carter is mad about this BP3 download flash flood. Corporate levees be damned, Blueprint 3 is everywhere right now.

A homeless dude had a copy of it in his cart at the liquor store by my house. I asked him if he thought it was any good, & he said he didn't know because he doesn't have a home to plug up a radio in, & tried to sell it to me. I said "No thanks", & then he asked me for a dollar. Being the kind of guy I am, I said to him, "Damn, I was going to ask you for one!", & walked away. It just goes to show that if a vagrant has his grubby paws on a copy, it's no wonder that it's everywhere.

Word to Kiana @, it's even been reviewed in the L.A. Times. Is this what rap crap has been relegated to? Professional, paid critics taking bootlegs for a spin? It's one thing for bloggers to give us the scoop, that's what us "bloggers" do. Without leaks, crappy music & dumb ass celebrities, we'd be down to very few things to write about. But, there has to be some code of ethics that prevents accomplished journalists from bottom-feeding. Regardless, I'd take a Combat Jack review over some underworked, overpaid douche nozzle anyday. Assuming there's enough room, Siskel is rolling over in his grave right now.

By my mathematics, there'll be nobody left to purchase it when it hits store shelves on 9/11, unless he sets up vendor stands in the parking lot during his performance that day at Madison Square Garden. Like bootleggers at Michael Jackson's funeral, t-shirts & all. Even still, between those he buys himself to save face & the White kids in the suburbs who spend any possible bootleg money on ecstacy pills, he'll still sell a million copies. From what I've heard/read about it, the consensus is that it's a fairly decent album. I don't expect more than that anyhow. Not to say that Jigga's not worthy of praise, because realistically, he's in a class by himself, but I hope for the best & expect the worst in most situations. That way, disappointment is marginal, if nothing else.

Whether or not this album is as huge as it's buzz, it proves that the recording industry is in for some changes. & as usual, Old Hova is the trend setter. So prepare for every type of record, not just rap, to literally flood the streets, pre-retail release, from this day forward. More importantly; most of us are familiar with Soulja Boy's viral video antics, which he affectionately refers to as "rich nigga shit", replete with remote-controlled jewelry & $100 bills used as toilet paper. But this latest move by Jay improves on that coontastic formula, in true rich nigga fashion; an overall good album, with top-notch producers, excellent packaging [||], & high-quality cover art that he gives away for free, without so much as a complaint. Somewhere, Soulja Boy sits in a Minute Maid-filled jacuzzi, wiping his tears with a Benjamin Franklin. The only way S.B. will be able to top that is to have a life-sized, solid gold statue made of himself & throw it off of a cliff. Remember you heard that here first, folks.

For everyone that says Jay-Z is old news, or played out, or needs to find a wheelchair for Beyonce to push him around in, he's still THAT dude. An icon. He said all black is what's up, & similar to the throwback throwaway, & mandatory fitted's, anyone with fashion sense is walking around looking like a vampire these days. Even the jewelry is blacked-out. Simply put, the man who said "those ain't Rolex diamonds, what the fuck you done to that?", might have single-handedly taken the bling out of Websters-Merriam.

You have to respect a man that Oprah respects. After all, she HATES men. If Steadman had the chance to meet Jay, I'm sure he asked him what type of cologne he wears.

"It's called Black Card. Getchu some, nigga..."

Cats that think there's no outside world past the end of their own block can't appreciate how major it is for Oprah Winfrey to be co-signing the man who's co-signs make &/or break careers. First Obama, now this. Not for nothing, but thats an existential amount of Black Power in that love triangle.

I'm not one to compare folks, but for all the Michael Jordan of Rap shit that he speaks, I would say Jay's more the Will Smith of Rap. Actor Will, not Rapper Will, if you will. Dude is so much larger than the record business, I'm surprised he still steps out of the bulletproof, stretch Bentley to record songs. Maybe he feels there's something to be proven, which I can understand, but what could it be at this point in his life? Hell, even Ice Cube flipped us the bird & rode off into the sunset, with half of Hollywood jogging behind him. & he stopped making good rap music in the 90's! Seriously, Jay-Z doesn't have to ever rap again. & I mean that in the most endearing way possible.

The fact that he's 40, & still loves his craft enough to do it, damn near for free it seems, has me with new found respect for this dude. The fact that I still tell people "what you eat don't make me shit", & the ever popular "we don't believe, you need more people" is proof enough that this guy has ingrained himself in our collective subconscious, & that's bigger than an anticipated album. That's notoriety, & unfleeting success. Drake, take notes. This is where you want to wind up.

Now, in one last show of alpha male superiority, he needs to get Bey pregnant. That friends, would be the ultimate takeover.


Federal Ranga said...

Grand$, I'm ashamed of you... are you telling us that because Jigga has 'cemented' his legacy, bagged the baddest bitch on the planet, sold millions of records, made hundreds of millions of our (and your) dollars that whatever he puts out (whether it be free or not) we should just take it and be happy with it?

Or that Jigga shouldn't give a fuck about any of us (the fans, the public or the game) in general want or think anymore...

Just clear me up, pimp... I'm tryna be on your side with this one...

Tony Grands said...

Nah, I think you read too much into it, or I just spazzed out on some scatterbrain shit...

"For everyone that says Jay-Z is old news, or played out, or needs to find a wheelchair for Beyonce to push him around in, he's still THAT dude. An icon."

That's my basic point. Jay-Z is Jay-Z, a pretty big deal. Love him or hate him.

dp said...

You are really putting down some work yourself on this site. I agree with your comments here. Jay is an icon. He is the American dream. Now I wish he would wake up.

The last paragraph on the drop was solid gold money. Keep doing your thing here homey

dp said...

As an aside. I like how your page is ALL about the word. No distracting bullshit. Get in medicine and get out.

Tony Grands said...


Thank you sir.

I haven't graduated to bells & whistles yet. I wouldn't even try to pull it off. Pause. Just playing my lane & seeing where it takes me.

Far as Jay-Z, that was all I was saying. Not for nothing, dudes an icon. All else is all good, but there's no denying who/what he is. But, I agree with all your were saying in class (ha!) today. It's not that he's done, he's just resting on his laurels right now. It WOULD be nice if he woke up, though.

Don said...

"Douche-Nozzle". HAHAHAHAHAHA
I agree. Whatever will be said, Jigga has done what many have always wanted to do.

I'm happy someone from Marcy did it big.

Tony Grands said...


I knew after Sven's MacEthering, you'd be through...

You can tell one of the greats by the fact that whenever their name is dropped, EVERYBODY has something to say.

Dudes a legend, simple & plain.

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