Monday, September 28, 2009

Hate The Game, Not The Player...

So, Lamar Odom married Khloe Kardashian, girlfriend of about 3 months, over the weekend. Thus, leaving behind his baby momma &/or love interest of about 10 years & their 2 children. According to, Liza Morales is dealing with Odom's marriage for her kids & wishes the newlywed's happiness because "everyone deserves to be happy". However, she refused to let THEIR children attend their FATHER'S wedding. WTF?!

Says Ms. Morales-"Yes, the circumstances over the last few weeks have been upsetting but none of my actions publicly or from the privacy of my home could be classified as a meltdown. I have maintained a brave face for my children who are my main concern and I remain strong for them."

Maybe I missed something in my slow, neanderthal way of man-thinking, but did somebody die? Sounds like the worst thing ever has happened to her & life is at a complete stand still. Really though, 10 years & no wedding? You've been living fantasies sweetie, for 'bout a decade or so. No Shots, though...

Swizz Beats, musical mastermind behind a whole bunch of shit, has apparently left his wife, R&B singer Mashonda for a more popular, & arguably more talented (& more attractive. No Shots, though) Alicia Keys. This isn't new news by any stretch of the public eye's imagination. Though the couple is still legally married, Swizz has more than made it official that his marriage is doomed to despair & has since had his pieces picked up by Ms. Keys, soon to be Mrs. Beatz, figuratively & literally speaking. Now, Mashonda has made her outcry public document via Twitter (is there any other way to snitch??).

Says Mashonda-"Already I can hear some of you saying "why are u blaming her, You cant make someone leave their wife, You cant break something thats broken". Well, my marriage was not broken, as far as I knew we were celebrating our sons birth and getting ready to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary . Call it blind love, whatever. I call it being a devoted wife.."

"As far as I knew" is usually what a defendant says on the stand when asked about their knowledge of some criminal act that's taken place, when they know damn well it wasn't right. Or, what most women say to illustrate the blind eye they've decided to turn towards whatever mishap has landed in their weaves semi-unexpectedly.

Regardless to the urban legends & broken home myths that fill court building hallways, children don't fix marriages/relationships, & hold no bearings over an individual's happiness. Truth be told, the children are often the resulting mistakes of people acting like the animals they are. Rarely are children born as a sum of love + happiness. I would go in on women not recognizing the power of the 'tang & just handing it to any guy without a speech impediment, but what do I know?

Actually, quite a bit...

Women, you need to understand the nature of the beast with which you decide to up the vajayjay to. Men are merely boys with body hair & bad credit scores, give or take. Man's intention lies in self-serving gratification, be it physical or otherwise. We like things that make us happy, per se. Fun things. Things that aren't hard to operate or take a lot of concentration to engage in. Men complicate things solely out of frustration, where as women seem to do it out of necessity. That alone is an oil & water situation, from the first date (booty call) to the last kiss (booty call). It's not that all men are dogs, or that we're selfish beings from the planet Stingy. It's just that once something stops being fun, we don't like it anymore. Ladies, how many XBox360 games does your man own? Do you know why? Because he finished a game, & at that point, he needed something new to have fun with. It wasn't anything personal towards the game itself; nothing to do with if it gained weight or let itself go. He's simple finished, bored & has moved on from that game, now dull & mundane. Now, had the game learned some new levels or created some alternate endings every time he got to the end, that would be a different scenario altogether.

I'm no Steve Harvey, but women, certain things can't be done in the traditional sense if you want to keep a man. Let's start with the word "keep". You "keep" a pet. You "keep" a pair of shoes. You don't "keep" a man; you "keep" him happy. If you're willing to get willy-nilly over the fact that he's moved on, then get equally as willy-nilly in your efforts to keep him around beforehand.

It's actually not that hard. In fact, most women could/would lighten their load if they just check dude out thoroughly before he becomes an amusement park's worth of genitals. I've always said to my home girls, as far back as I can remember, "Don't bone that dude. Yet.". No hate fellas, but we all know we've told that to a close home girl, only to be ignored while she "falls in love", then soon after has a bastard child while dude has already driven away to the next sperm receptacle. If you've ever seen a Tyler Perry movie, you have an idea how that system operates.

It's always amazed me that the behavior of Man is common knowledge, yet every woman thinks her cooch is the Kryptonite to every super guy she sleeps with. No Dice. Cats wear lead draws these days, girls. In case you're not hip to Superman-ese, that means that dude's already prepared for whatever new entrapment weaponry you think you've invented. It takes more than a home-cooked meal & D.S.L.'s to make a dude want to hang up is walking, umm, running shoes.

Not to be mean, but sometimes that willingness to churn out rug rats without a genuine, God-fearing commitment can come back to bite you in that same booty of yours that answers everytime he calls (see what I did there?). Whatever it is that you assume is so pleasing to him, keep this in mind; there's always a less attractive, less demanding, more appreciative woman out there, so you really need to give him ample reason to stick around for the arguments & what not. Really though. Separation from the pack is far more arduous than separation of the legs.

By no means are these shots at the ladies. In fact, I hope this helps some young, unexpecting girl to realize that a happy, healthy relationship is as easy to attain as an unwanted pregnancy or an STD, if you understand what I'm getting at. Women seem to have a tendency to look down the road, love-wise, & neglect the present. Too busy looking for the marriage, without giving the courtship the proper attention. Then, when it all falls down, the man's a dog, a womanizer, a Federline, etc.

If it takes 2 to tango, then why on Earth wouldn't it take 2 to fuck up a relationship? Most cats naturally have an exit strategy embedded in their psyche to begin with. It's just about how, when, &/or where is it going to take place? Knowing how to diffuse said mechanism is the mark of a woman worth being "kept" by.



Phlip said...

I agree 1 million percent, especially the part about warning the chicks not to mess with a specific dude, only to have her ignore you and then you be dead right...
I know this one chick that had that happen 3 times in one year once before. Now whenever she breaches the subject, I make it APPARENT that I am changing the subject, so as to not have my wise words wasted (hey, alliteration!) again.

Curtis75Black said...

Talk about breaking it down !! This has got to be one of the illest blogs I've ever read !! I co-sign this to the fullest degree. I have no idea if you ever heard LL's GOAT cd but this is the equalivalent to the song "This is Us"- 9 years later. Dawg, I'm reading this at lunch, Laughing my Ass off thinking about my ex girlfriend all the way thru. I have to send this to every female, including her to read. This might be the most important literature for them nowadays.

Kiana said...

Preach! But damn at "Men are merely boys with body hair & bad credit scores, give or take."

The game analogy is brilliant.

I'm emailing this to my girls.

p.s. I aint forgot about emailing you back. I think I have a master plan, i'll hit you up soon.

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