I'm sure most of y'all have seen the pictures of Rick Ross' baby moms Tia & their son with 50 Cent & Floyd Mayweather. Really though, fuck that picture. Cats all over the 'Net have their opinions on why it is/isn't foul, or what Rick should do to 50 in retaliation, or why Mayweather's even embroiled in this nonsense when he should be in the gym preparing to get his ass handed to him by Pacman. Btw, I hope he gets beaten in a way that's unfamiliar to him. I don't even like boxing like that, but I love to see a bonafied douche nozzle on the losing end of life. Makes me feel better about myself.
The reason I brought that up because it's a great precursor to choices. The choices we make, that seem so unimportant at the time, truly do shape our futures. It sounds simple, & it is. So simple that it's complicated, like putting on a condom or taking care of a pet. Without meticulous foresight, all things can & will fall down. You think Rick Ross would have raw dogged that chick if he saw all this drama? Would one 5 minute session of physical labor have been worth all this? It started when he decided that he probably won't get her pregnant, or didn't care otherwise. That minuscule decision has snow balled completely out of control, & he's a fool if he doesn't ever sit & think about the exact moment that he made one of the worst choices in his life. Not the kid, per se, but the dilemma that his irresponsibility begat.
Which brings me to a story I had the displeasure of revisiting this morning, of the fall of Rae Carruth. I won't get into specifics, but this dude basically had his baby mother killed for whatever reason. Now, I'm not throwing stones, God knows about my past, but how could something go so horribly wrong all of the sudden? Answer: it didn't. It sucked from the beginning, & perhaps, like many a successful man before him, he ignored whatever signs God showed him as to the horrid path that lay ahead. One bad choice led to many, & alas, dude's behind bars, his son is mentally & physically handicapped as a result of the injuries inflicted to the pregnant mother, & some young lady's corpse rots in a box as we speak, umm, read, well, you smell my cologne.
Choices are a manifestation of the free will we all were blessed with. It's what separates us from animals & angels. Said choices also determine how hard, or easy life will be. I teach my son to think before he does anything, because tiny ripples can become tidal waves, so to speak. I know. I've been swimming for years, & some days I see no land in sight. Thankfully, I haven't drowned yet. But thats also a nod to the fact that I've learned how to surf said tidal waves, a skill that I shouldn't have had to learn, but am glad that I did.
Life pretty much sucks. True, you have the good & the bad, but the latter generally outweighs the former. My dad used to tell me, "Life is short, but long as hell if you make the wrong decisions". It took me years to understand, & I appreciate the fact that he at least warned me. Too bad I didn't listen. Or maybe, I didn't understand. Hopefully, my bad choices will be my son's better choices. Speaking of choices, thats the name of the brochure that lists all of the magnet schools in the greater Los Angeles area. We just good his in the mail. Let the games begin...
Showing posts with label real life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label real life. Show all posts
Monday, November 16, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Katt Burglar
Comedian Katt Williams was a guest -- not a burglar -- at the Georgia home he is now accused of breaking into with a crowbar, his lawyer told CNN.
The house, on a horse farm in rural west Georgia, is owned by record producer Barry Hankerson, according to the police report. Williams has been living in the Coweta County, Georgia, home for nearly a month while filming a movie produced by Hankerson, attorney William Briggs said.
Williams, 38, was arrested early Monday after an employee of Hankerson's -- Daniel Paul Broach -- called police and reported Williams had broken into the home with a crowbar, the police report said.
A Coweta County magistrate set bail at $40,000 in a hearing Monday afternoon, which lawyers were working to post, Briggs said. The police report said about $3,500 in jewelry and collectable coins were stolen, which his lawyer said "we absolutely deny."
"Mr. Williams wears more than that in jewelry on his person," Briggs said.Briggs said Williams argued with the employee, prompting the burglary report.
Hankerson spoke with investigators Monday afternoon to assure them Williams had his permission to stay indefinitely in the home he was accused of burglarizing, Briggs said.
-as reported by CNN.com
Let me say, live to the 'Nets, that Daniel Paul Broach is Imperial Ruler of the Douche Nozzles, if this story is accurate. That friends, is "hating" to the largest extent.
Perhaps Daniel was upset that his hair wasn't as luxurious as 'Money Mike's. Maybe he was this fat, unhappy, washed up wanna-be superstar who couldn't stand to see a man, barely 5' tall, with so much "success" in life. Then again, maybe he's a closet homosexual, who's long craved the sweet caress of Barry
Hankerson, since back in Aaliyah's hey day, yet, here's Barry offering another man rest in his humble abode. Meanwhile, poor, sexually-confused Mr. Broach is forced to watch those two cats sip Old English from pimp cups made of silver & gold, while he warms his Cup 'O' Noodles on the hood of his Ford Taurus.
I know Katt's antidepression medication doesn't mix well with the super-hydroponic weed he smokes like Newport cigarettes, but this time, I don't think he was on the wrong side of the law. Jealousy is an evil monster. All the "hate" that Katt speaks of & he didn't even see this snake ass nigga slither 'round his two-tone gators. That must be the result(s) of all that "good shit" he's puffing. Either that, or those big ass diamonds in his ears are interfering with his third eye sight.
Stay tuned, folks...
The house, on a horse farm in rural west Georgia, is owned by record producer Barry Hankerson, according to the police report. Williams has been living in the Coweta County, Georgia, home for nearly a month while filming a movie produced by Hankerson, attorney William Briggs said.
Williams, 38, was arrested early Monday after an employee of Hankerson's -- Daniel Paul Broach -- called police and reported Williams had broken into the home with a crowbar, the police report said.
A Coweta County magistrate set bail at $40,000 in a hearing Monday afternoon, which lawyers were working to post, Briggs said. The police report said about $3,500 in jewelry and collectable coins were stolen, which his lawyer said "we absolutely deny."
"Mr. Williams wears more than that in jewelry on his person," Briggs said.Briggs said Williams argued with the employee, prompting the burglary report.
Hankerson spoke with investigators Monday afternoon to assure them Williams had his permission to stay indefinitely in the home he was accused of burglarizing, Briggs said.
-as reported by CNN.com
Let me say, live to the 'Nets, that Daniel Paul Broach is Imperial Ruler of the Douche Nozzles, if this story is accurate. That friends, is "hating" to the largest extent.
Perhaps Daniel was upset that his hair wasn't as luxurious as 'Money Mike's. Maybe he was this fat, unhappy, washed up wanna-be superstar who couldn't stand to see a man, barely 5' tall, with so much "success" in life. Then again, maybe he's a closet homosexual, who's long craved the sweet caress of Barry
Hankerson, since back in Aaliyah's hey day, yet, here's Barry offering another man rest in his humble abode. Meanwhile, poor, sexually-confused Mr. Broach is forced to watch those two cats sip Old English from pimp cups made of silver & gold, while he warms his Cup 'O' Noodles on the hood of his Ford Taurus.
I know Katt's antidepression medication doesn't mix well with the super-hydroponic weed he smokes like Newport cigarettes, but this time, I don't think he was on the wrong side of the law. Jealousy is an evil monster. All the "hate" that Katt speaks of & he didn't even see this snake ass nigga slither 'round his two-tone gators. That must be the result(s) of all that "good shit" he's puffing. Either that, or those big ass diamonds in his ears are interfering with his third eye sight.
Stay tuned, folks...
Monday, September 28, 2009
15 Minutes
I've had some pretty shitty jobs in my day. We all have, I'm sure. But, I doubt anybody can top being a shoe shine boy (literally, a boy. I was like 16) in the lobby of one of those snob hob-knob hotels near LAX. Imagine my dismay the first time some rich, White douche nozzle kicked his loafers up on my foot rest & asked me to "hook him up". Indeed, I hooked him up [||], & dude even gave me a generous tip [||], but that wasn't the point. I felt like it was a scene in some 1934 Shirley Temple movie, & I should have been wearing a white tuxedo with my eyeballs bulging from my shiny, negro head. One customer asked me a retarded question one afternoon, & out of youthful rebellion, I answered, "yessum". He didn't find it amusing, & actually his tip was one of the biggest I'd received ([||] x 2). Ugh, the memories. One thing I'll say in regards to undermining, menial labor for White folks; they pay extra. It's like some form of reparations; they must feel sorry for all the times Chicken George got slashed across his back as a fringe benefit to slavery. Chicken Tony, on the other hand, exercised his right to freedom, & bid the shoe shine industry a farewell after one long summer.
For the most part, I've always done some asshole manual labor that I was over qualified for, but underwhelmingly desperate to make some loot from, so, the ends justified the means I guess. I'll tell you what; I stress the importance of education to my son like there's no tomorrow. The way things seem to be going, there isn't one unless you have a college diploma.
Possibly the best job I ever had was working for The Adam Carolla Show radio show, in L.A., a few years back in 2006-07. I was an avid listener at the time, & they had a "Black guy" named Jarron. He wasn't what the quintessential Black dude would personify, especially on a lower-upper class yuppie talk radio program. In short, they didn't want a well educated, correct english speaking Black guy who sounded & acted more White at times, than the hosts themselves. They wanted a "nigga"; someone who could take them places, in the hood, that they wouldn't otherwise have had access to. So, the show held a contest for the new Black guy. I called, & became one of 3 finalists. The deciding factor was to be an in-studio Black-Off, judged by none other than the great (psychotic) David Allen Grier. I think he has some sexual issues, but that's a blog of another color.
Basically, Adam Carolla & co-hosts Theresa Strausser & Dave Damasheck asked me & 2 other Black guys a few random questions that only Blacks would know the answer to. Obviously, I was faster than the other two dudes. All the while, David Allen Grier kept finding reasons to touch my shoulder or lean on me as if I were a prop for his comedy routine. I was waiting for dude to "accidentally" graze my ass, but in a bad way. The finale was a bagging contest, which I passed with flying colors. Come on, who has more jokes than a nervous alcoholic surrounded by White people & a mentally unstable Black Z-list celebrity? Nobody, thats who! Thus began my stint on the show as "Tony the Black Guy".
It sounded corny & extremely racist, especially when Adam said it, but it was cool to be a Black man on the radio who wasn't rapping or being Steve Harvey. I met some cool ass celebrities though; Michael Irvin (the "cocaine" Cowboy), Tony Hawk, 3 Playboy bunnies who apparently REALLY liked Black guys & their "pimp", Danny Bonaduce (he's a nice guy, don't let the fiery hair fool you), David Allen Grier (I seriously think he wanted to sodomize me, seriously), I went to a premier of that year's Harry Potter movie & made some White people very uncomfortable & even interviewed my neighborhood homies about Obama. To add authenticity to my 'hood interview, the big homie Bird was cursing & didn't know who a pre-presidency Obama was. Sweet! I even pulled my son into the action, & he recorded a few intros for the show. It was easily one of the few times in life I felt important; even had my own electronic key to get into the building.
I often found myself walking the thin line between being "the Black guy" & embarrassing my race. It's not so much that I fancy myself a spokesperson for Americans of African descent, but never was it my intention to shuck & jive my way into the Coon's Hall of Fame. Arsenio Hall would've probably have me assasinated before he let that happen anyway. Whenever I recognized myself in the precarious situation of being "too Black", I'd drop some knowledge on whatever dumb topic we were discussing on air. Multi-syllabic words & what have you. & to think, I didn't want to shine shoes anymore, yet look where I ended up...
Alas, as in all good things, my time ended, the show got cancelled, but I'll always have my 15 minutes. Recently, I googled "The Adam Carolla Show Tony the Black Guy" & found a few blogs that mentioned me by name. I went to images even, & saw the picture I took the day I won. How cool is that? If nothing else, it'll make a cool story to tell my grandkids one day. Or my blog readers today.
For the most part, I've always done some asshole manual labor that I was over qualified for, but underwhelmingly desperate to make some loot from, so, the ends justified the means I guess. I'll tell you what; I stress the importance of education to my son like there's no tomorrow. The way things seem to be going, there isn't one unless you have a college diploma.
Possibly the best job I ever had was working for The Adam Carolla Show radio show, in L.A., a few years back in 2006-07. I was an avid listener at the time, & they had a "Black guy" named Jarron. He wasn't what the quintessential Black dude would personify, especially on a lower-upper class yuppie talk radio program. In short, they didn't want a well educated, correct english speaking Black guy who sounded & acted more White at times, than the hosts themselves. They wanted a "nigga"; someone who could take them places, in the hood, that they wouldn't otherwise have had access to. So, the show held a contest for the new Black guy. I called, & became one of 3 finalists. The deciding factor was to be an in-studio Black-Off, judged by none other than the great (psychotic) David Allen Grier. I think he has some sexual issues, but that's a blog of another color.
Basically, Adam Carolla & co-hosts Theresa Strausser & Dave Damasheck asked me & 2 other Black guys a few random questions that only Blacks would know the answer to. Obviously, I was faster than the other two dudes. All the while, David Allen Grier kept finding reasons to touch my shoulder or lean on me as if I were a prop for his comedy routine. I was waiting for dude to "accidentally" graze my ass, but in a bad way. The finale was a bagging contest, which I passed with flying colors. Come on, who has more jokes than a nervous alcoholic surrounded by White people & a mentally unstable Black Z-list celebrity? Nobody, thats who! Thus began my stint on the show as "Tony the Black Guy".
It sounded corny & extremely racist, especially when Adam said it, but it was cool to be a Black man on the radio who wasn't rapping or being Steve Harvey. I met some cool ass celebrities though; Michael Irvin (the "cocaine" Cowboy), Tony Hawk, 3 Playboy bunnies who apparently REALLY liked Black guys & their "pimp", Danny Bonaduce (he's a nice guy, don't let the fiery hair fool you), David Allen Grier (I seriously think he wanted to sodomize me, seriously), I went to a premier of that year's Harry Potter movie & made some White people very uncomfortable & even interviewed my neighborhood homies about Obama. To add authenticity to my 'hood interview, the big homie Bird was cursing & didn't know who a pre-presidency Obama was. Sweet! I even pulled my son into the action, & he recorded a few intros for the show. It was easily one of the few times in life I felt important; even had my own electronic key to get into the building.
I often found myself walking the thin line between being "the Black guy" & embarrassing my race. It's not so much that I fancy myself a spokesperson for Americans of African descent, but never was it my intention to shuck & jive my way into the Coon's Hall of Fame. Arsenio Hall would've probably have me assasinated before he let that happen anyway. Whenever I recognized myself in the precarious situation of being "too Black", I'd drop some knowledge on whatever dumb topic we were discussing on air. Multi-syllabic words & what have you. & to think, I didn't want to shine shoes anymore, yet look where I ended up...
Alas, as in all good things, my time ended, the show got cancelled, but I'll always have my 15 minutes. Recently, I googled "The Adam Carolla Show Tony the Black Guy" & found a few blogs that mentioned me by name. I went to images even, & saw the picture I took the day I won. How cool is that? If nothing else, it'll make a cool story to tell my grandkids one day. Or my blog readers today.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
...like salt & pepper shakers.
Wow. This has been some week (give or take) for us, ay niggas? Allow me to recap a few events, before I continue...
[tony's note: by no means does my usage of the term "niggas" mean I'm alienating everyone else, so please, continue reading...]
*Senator Joe Wilson yells out that President Obama is a liar during an(other) address regarding health care, subsequently becoming the new "Joe Six-pack".
*During a tournament match, Serena Williams threatens to shove a ball down a line judges throat for a call that could've easily been disputed, thus is disqualified from the game.
*Kanye West rudely interrupts 19 year-old country singer Taylor Swift, as she makes her acceptance speech for the Mtv VMA Moon Man trophy for best female video of the year.
Perhaps there's some strange, twice-in-a-lifetime planetary alignment that allowed for so much public blactivity to be witnessed worldwide in such a short span. Nonetheless, racism has exploded with new reverence. Twitter, the world's leading boulevard for mouth running, has been a flutter with the N-word & the phrase "white bitch" much, much, much more than usual. The great divide that separates us by color has been breached, with both respective proponents taking no prisoners. Do or die, if you will.
There hasn't been this much Black/White separation since Barack Obama & John McCain were in the same room. Or since Michael Jackson debuted the video for that song "Black or White". Or since yesterday, when I pulled my Oreo cookie apart prior to eating.
It's almost funny how closest racists & brown-nosed bigots jump at the first opportunity to hurl epithets like water balloons filled with haterade. Now that each side is flinching at the other, it's merely a matter of time before the first proverbial punch is thrown.
When Gil Scott-Heron said, "The revolution will not be televised", he had know idea that it would be because YouTube, Twitter & Facebook would become the only way information gets transferred. It's not that idiocy, of all hues, hasn't always existed, it's just that now, it's a double-left click away.
Speaking of the first punch, it may be closer than we think. & it's a hay maker, to say the least. It turns out that, according to ex-girlfriend Christie Pody, Orenthal James Simpson, a/k/a OJ, who was found innocent of the murder of his ex-wife Nicole Brown-Simpson & her lover Ron Goldman, actually did do it. By "it" I mean murder them. Immediately, this brings to mind the title of his book, "If I did it", & how White America used said book as a stepping stool to put his noose back on the tree from which it hang during his trial. But, to the dismay of probably 90% of America's caucassion community (& some Black people, too), "double jeopardy" states that he'll remain innocent for the rest of time. Then the dumb nigga robbed some cats in a hotel room & got sentenced to roughly 33 years. Go figure.
This potential situation is what's referred to as a "powder keg". At this rate, if by some misfortunate turn of events Pody provides any (more) damning evidence that O.J. actually did kill his White ex-wife, that single incident will slingshot any notion of a post civil rights movement-based society back to the days of chains & whips. & I'm not talking about jewelry & automobiles here.
As more details emerge from his ex-snowflake love toy, we can only assume that the same voters who scoffed at Pres. Obama's election will be equally disgusted & overjoyed that, even though a court couldn't condemn him, "they" still got him. This is sad, if only because it will further separate a nation that was once a place people fled to to escape the harsh realities of injustice. Now, foreigners will start bypassing us & head straight to Canada.
Seriously, we've got a Black president, & a White rapper dominating the charts. If thats not progress, then I'm wasting my time writing this. Let's not start backsliding here, y'all. I'm not saying hold hands with strangers &/or "love thy neighbor", but I am saying that, as a people, America can't revert to the days of self-imposed segregation just because a handful of pessimistic douche nozzles decide to show their asses to anyone willing to look.
Fuck it; love thy neighbor.
[tony's note: by no means does my usage of the term "niggas" mean I'm alienating everyone else, so please, continue reading...]
*Senator Joe Wilson yells out that President Obama is a liar during an(other) address regarding health care, subsequently becoming the new "Joe Six-pack".
*During a tournament match, Serena Williams threatens to shove a ball down a line judges throat for a call that could've easily been disputed, thus is disqualified from the game.
*Kanye West rudely interrupts 19 year-old country singer Taylor Swift, as she makes her acceptance speech for the Mtv VMA Moon Man trophy for best female video of the year.
Perhaps there's some strange, twice-in-a-lifetime planetary alignment that allowed for so much public blactivity to be witnessed worldwide in such a short span. Nonetheless, racism has exploded with new reverence. Twitter, the world's leading boulevard for mouth running, has been a flutter with the N-word & the phrase "white bitch" much, much, much more than usual. The great divide that separates us by color has been breached, with both respective proponents taking no prisoners. Do or die, if you will.
There hasn't been this much Black/White separation since Barack Obama & John McCain were in the same room. Or since Michael Jackson debuted the video for that song "Black or White". Or since yesterday, when I pulled my Oreo cookie apart prior to eating.
It's almost funny how closest racists & brown-nosed bigots jump at the first opportunity to hurl epithets like water balloons filled with haterade. Now that each side is flinching at the other, it's merely a matter of time before the first proverbial punch is thrown.
When Gil Scott-Heron said, "The revolution will not be televised", he had know idea that it would be because YouTube, Twitter & Facebook would become the only way information gets transferred. It's not that idiocy, of all hues, hasn't always existed, it's just that now, it's a double-left click away.
Speaking of the first punch, it may be closer than we think. & it's a hay maker, to say the least. It turns out that, according to ex-girlfriend Christie Pody, Orenthal James Simpson, a/k/a OJ, who was found innocent of the murder of his ex-wife Nicole Brown-Simpson & her lover Ron Goldman, actually did do it. By "it" I mean murder them. Immediately, this brings to mind the title of his book, "If I did it", & how White America used said book as a stepping stool to put his noose back on the tree from which it hang during his trial. But, to the dismay of probably 90% of America's caucassion community (& some Black people, too), "double jeopardy" states that he'll remain innocent for the rest of time. Then the dumb nigga robbed some cats in a hotel room & got sentenced to roughly 33 years. Go figure.
This potential situation is what's referred to as a "powder keg". At this rate, if by some misfortunate turn of events Pody provides any (more) damning evidence that O.J. actually did kill his White ex-wife, that single incident will slingshot any notion of a post civil rights movement-based society back to the days of chains & whips. & I'm not talking about jewelry & automobiles here.
As more details emerge from his ex-snowflake love toy, we can only assume that the same voters who scoffed at Pres. Obama's election will be equally disgusted & overjoyed that, even though a court couldn't condemn him, "they" still got him. This is sad, if only because it will further separate a nation that was once a place people fled to to escape the harsh realities of injustice. Now, foreigners will start bypassing us & head straight to Canada.
Seriously, we've got a Black president, & a White rapper dominating the charts. If thats not progress, then I'm wasting my time writing this. Let's not start backsliding here, y'all. I'm not saying hold hands with strangers &/or "love thy neighbor", but I am saying that, as a people, America can't revert to the days of self-imposed segregation just because a handful of pessimistic douche nozzles decide to show their asses to anyone willing to look.
Fuck it; love thy neighbor.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Back Then>Right Now
I finally saw G.I. Joe (the movie) today. A bootleg copy that I got in exchange for a pack of Newports, so I can't/won't complain about the quality. It beat the hell out of watching NASCAR & college football all afternoon though, so s'all good.
The movie itself, was actually very entertaining. I removed my childhood memories of setting up rosebush wars & backyard battles & just watched it for what it was; a movie based on an old ass toy Army man. But, as character's names were mentioned & Marlon Wayans cracked a "Kung-Fu grip" joke, I couldn't help but reminisce. See, when I was a kid, G.I. Joe ='d warfare, more so than the other toys we lusted over. He-man & Thundercats seemed like most of the dudes were gay (no offense), Transformers had to go through some sort of sex-change operation to engage in conflict, Voltron sucked if you didn't have all 5 lions, & unless you spoke some variation of Asian-Pacific dialect, you couldn't even read the instructions to your Robotech mech.
G.I. Joe on the other hand, came with some guns, maybe a knife & an awesome bio-card to inform you about the type of killer you were about to unleash into your bedroom. It let my generation re-enact the violent war stories our grandfathers told about WWII, & our uncles crazed tales of Vietnam, without the drugs & hookers, of course (unless you owned Jane or Scarlett). G.I. Joe's didn't fold up into magical balls &/or have to be summoned to a playing field to banish the other dragon warrior to a dark zone (or something to that effect). It was, "Yoooo Joe!", then let the gunfire (or flame thrower) rip. Simple, American fun.
Back then, toys, cartoons, & movies were different. It must be hard on kids nowadays, or easy, depending, with the level of play they have. Not for nothing, but nothing ushers a boy into manhood like a little bald-headed Black guy with a machine gun the size of a Hot Wheel. The first time I saw a Pokemon card I felt the same way as the first time I saw a 16 year old boy wearing skinny jeans; confused & slightly disappointed. With video games being the #1 time waster/babysitter, today's youngster knows nothing of mud rock fights & building their own diabolical bike ramps in the driveway. Who say's a broken arm doesn't build a little character?
During my last trip to a toy store (around the time G.I. Joe was being released), I happened to notice that Hasbro had begun selling the toy again, almost identical to how it was when I was a kid. Once a kid got past all the shiny, asexual, robotic fantasy warriors, there the Joe's were, on the back shelf like haggard old war vets. I didn't see one kid buying any though, movie or not. Maybe if they re-released the cartoon also, it would make a difference.
By the end of the movie, I was telling my son stories of my G.I. Joe days, only to have him look over the top of his Nintendo DS, nod his head & go back to playing Yu-Gi-Oh. The saga continues...
Oh yeah, check out that movie, it's pretty good. I just wish they put a real life Black actor in the movie to play as "Rip Cord", instead of a caricature of the proverbial Black comedian. Really though, I was waiting for Marlon Wayans to clap his hands & say "Dy-no-miiite".
The movie itself, was actually very entertaining. I removed my childhood memories of setting up rosebush wars & backyard battles & just watched it for what it was; a movie based on an old ass toy Army man. But, as character's names were mentioned & Marlon Wayans cracked a "Kung-Fu grip" joke, I couldn't help but reminisce. See, when I was a kid, G.I. Joe ='d warfare, more so than the other toys we lusted over. He-man & Thundercats seemed like most of the dudes were gay (no offense), Transformers had to go through some sort of sex-change operation to engage in conflict, Voltron sucked if you didn't have all 5 lions, & unless you spoke some variation of Asian-Pacific dialect, you couldn't even read the instructions to your Robotech mech.
G.I. Joe on the other hand, came with some guns, maybe a knife & an awesome bio-card to inform you about the type of killer you were about to unleash into your bedroom. It let my generation re-enact the violent war stories our grandfathers told about WWII, & our uncles crazed tales of Vietnam, without the drugs & hookers, of course (unless you owned Jane or Scarlett). G.I. Joe's didn't fold up into magical balls &/or have to be summoned to a playing field to banish the other dragon warrior to a dark zone (or something to that effect). It was, "Yoooo Joe!", then let the gunfire (or flame thrower) rip. Simple, American fun.
Back then, toys, cartoons, & movies were different. It must be hard on kids nowadays, or easy, depending, with the level of play they have. Not for nothing, but nothing ushers a boy into manhood like a little bald-headed Black guy with a machine gun the size of a Hot Wheel. The first time I saw a Pokemon card I felt the same way as the first time I saw a 16 year old boy wearing skinny jeans; confused & slightly disappointed. With video games being the #1 time waster/babysitter, today's youngster knows nothing of mud rock fights & building their own diabolical bike ramps in the driveway. Who say's a broken arm doesn't build a little character?
During my last trip to a toy store (around the time G.I. Joe was being released), I happened to notice that Hasbro had begun selling the toy again, almost identical to how it was when I was a kid. Once a kid got past all the shiny, asexual, robotic fantasy warriors, there the Joe's were, on the back shelf like haggard old war vets. I didn't see one kid buying any though, movie or not. Maybe if they re-released the cartoon also, it would make a difference.
By the end of the movie, I was telling my son stories of my G.I. Joe days, only to have him look over the top of his Nintendo DS, nod his head & go back to playing Yu-Gi-Oh. The saga continues...
Oh yeah, check out that movie, it's pretty good. I just wish they put a real life Black actor in the movie to play as "Rip Cord", instead of a caricature of the proverbial Black comedian. Really though, I was waiting for Marlon Wayans to clap his hands & say "Dy-no-miiite".
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