Back Then>Right Now

I finally saw G.I. Joe (the movie) today. A bootleg copy that I got in exchange for a pack of Newports, so I can't/won't complain about the quality. It beat the hell out of watching NASCAR & college football all afternoon though, so s'all good.

The movie itself, was actually very entertaining. I removed my childhood memories of setting up rosebush wars & backyard battles & just watched it for what it was; a movie based on an old ass toy Army man. But, as character's names were mentioned & Marlon Wayans cracked a "Kung-Fu grip" joke, I couldn't help but reminisce. See, when I was a kid, G.I. Joe ='d warfare, more so than the other toys we lusted over. He-man & Thundercats seemed like most of the dudes were gay (no offense), Transformers had to go through some sort of sex-change operation to engage in conflict, Voltron sucked if you didn't have all 5 lions, & unless you spoke some variation of Asian-Pacific dialect, you couldn't even read the instructions to your Robotech mech.

G.I. Joe on the other hand, came with some guns, maybe a knife & an awesome bio-card to inform you about the type of killer you were about to unleash into your bedroom. It let my generation re-enact the violent war stories our grandfathers told about WWII, & our uncles crazed tales of Vietnam, without the drugs & hookers, of course (unless you owned Jane or Scarlett). G.I. Joe's didn't fold up into magical balls &/or have to be summoned to a playing field to banish the other dragon warrior to a dark zone (or something to that effect). It was, "Yoooo Joe!", then let the gunfire (or flame thrower) rip. Simple, American fun.

Back then, toys, cartoons, & movies were different. It must be hard on kids nowadays, or easy, depending, with the level of play they have. Not for nothing, but nothing ushers a boy into manhood like a little bald-headed Black guy with a machine gun the size of a Hot Wheel. The first time I saw a Pokemon card I felt the same way as the first time I saw a 16 year old boy wearing skinny jeans; confused & slightly disappointed. With video games being the #1 time waster/babysitter, today's youngster knows nothing of mud rock fights & building their own diabolical bike ramps in the driveway. Who say's a broken arm doesn't build a little character?

During my last trip to a toy store (around the time G.I. Joe was being released), I happened to notice that Hasbro had begun selling the toy again, almost identical to how it was when I was a kid. Once a kid got past all the shiny, asexual, robotic fantasy warriors, there the Joe's were, on the back shelf like haggard old war vets. I didn't see one kid buying any though, movie or not. Maybe if they re-released the cartoon also, it would make a difference.

By the end of the movie, I was telling my son stories of my G.I. Joe days, only to have him look over the top of his Nintendo DS, nod his head & go back to playing Yu-Gi-Oh. The saga continues...

Oh yeah, check out that movie, it's pretty good. I just wish they put a real life Black actor in the movie to play as "Rip Cord", instead of a caricature of the proverbial Black comedian. Really though, I was waiting for Marlon Wayans to clap his hands & say "Dy-no-miiite".