Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I Hate Kanye West (But, in a good way)

Have you ever seen a guy, & for some uncanny reason suddenly got the overwhelming urge to bump into him, or set him on fire?

You know the type; loud mouth, horrible shirt, "exotic" body fragrance, really shiny shoes, & some vintage hair style that looks like whoever stopped wearing it did so for a reason? Yes? Well that's how I feel about Kanye West. I know celebs are required by law to have a certain blowhard quality about them, but this guy supercedes the norm, straight into the douche-nozzle stratosphere.

&, while I'm all for fashion renaissance, his taste in haberdashery is suspect at best. What stylist gives a thumbs-up to a sports coat/sweatshirt hybrid in desperate need of a size upgrade? The legally blind one. Match that type of atrocity with audaciously tight jeans, so impeccably fitted that you can count the tube sock stripes, & your outfit has officially insulted my intelligence. Every time I see a picture of Kanyeezy, I feel like he's flipping me the bird after he spit in my soda. I never judge books by their covers, but I judge weirdos by their uniforms at break-neck speed.

This is in no way an attack on Mr. West, but more at the implications of his pop star status. For all intents & purposes, the dude is an icon. Kids know who he is, which is basically the solidification of celebrity status. But not even fame & riches will make me ignore when a person is a real-life cartoon character. A caricture, if you understand the difference between the two.

America has an infatuation with "the elossA". West just happens to be the latest posterboy for extreme jerkness, a walking billboard for toolism far & wide. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind though, I admire the fortitude it takes to openly say the president doesn't care about black people, and to proclaim one's self as (& I quote), Martin Louis the King. Not to mention slapping the snot from unassuming photogs, which equates to being mauled damn near to death by the cutest bear cub you've ever seen. As harmless as this guy appears at first glance, I believe him to be the devil in denim leotards & sleeveless church sweaters.

This kid's about 3 minutes from referring to himself in the third person. "Whatever Kanye wants, Kanye gets! Fa Sho!"

Maybe I'm jealous of his star power, because only the most elite Hip Hopper would annouce that his house is too clean to listen to Hip Hop in. Gadzooks!, to say the least. This guy should just walk in circles and eat his own feces. I remember a time not to long ago when I pined for his music. Now, I throw up in my mouth a little bit everytime I hear him [ahem] sing.

I'll admit, he is an example of what a Black man can accomplish when he sets his mind to it. Not revolutionary by any standards, but definately a quality to be admired, once you get past the eye doctor sun shades & spasmatic dancing. He's taken music in a direction probably not witnessed since disco morphed into hip hop. He played a large part in changing the dress code for young people across the world, however flamboyant it may be now. "Goodbye baggy jeans, hello yeast infection", or something to that effect.

Temper tantrums & personality deficiency aside, its good that young people can look up to a person who's honest with himself. The songs he writes are usually what a lot of us feel, but don't know how to vocalize. Thousands of rappers today possess the ability to get yor head nodding, but only a select few can make you dance, think & question your taste in clothing all in one shot.

I'd rather not look in my mirror & see that clown staring back at me, but if it works for him, more power.

Maybe in some intergalactic way, his oddly shaped behavioral patterns will have a positive effect on future generations. God knows he could do way worse than Tupac, Lil Wayne & 50 cent did.


k.coleman brown said...

" I never judge books by their covers, but I judge weirdos by their uniforms at break-neck speed."

BRILLIANT!!!! that's too much game for me! whooooooo WEEEEE!!

SUPRSHAZ. said...

tell me you read the 'Negro Please' blog on XXL about KanYe wanting to be referred to as Martin Louis the King, jr.

pure comedy XD

k.coleman brown said...

YEEEEEEEEEES!!!! lol!!!! why doesth thou maketh a fool of himselfeth! lmao!!!

somebody said...