Saturday, January 31, 2009

The D.L.G. Complex

"Un, stable, creatures. That's my new word fa ya'll." - Sweet pea (Omar Gooding) from John Singleton's Baby Boy.
He was referring to the behavior exhibited by his girlfriend & her mother. In actuality, he was just elohssa drunk & complaining, but that wasn't the point. The point was that, all women, on some general level are crazy, i.e. unstable. Regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, what have you. Can't say that I disagree.

There has to be some scientific reasoning behind the scatter brain actions of the female homosapien. Until I can produce a PHD in the pertaining field of study, nothing I say from here forth can be legitimately substantiated. But, don't let technicality stop you from nodding your head in agreement.

There's overwhelming evidence that the lack of a positive male figure is more harmful to a girl than a boy. Most noteworthy is the fact that all human life is funneled through the female. It starts in her uterus, graduates through her birth canal, & escapes to get lost in the myriad known as life. What happens after said escape is variable, but nonetheless, it begins with the woman. Thus, without "her", there is no "us". Like it or not, that girl you keep calling a hctib will eventually be someone's mom, if she's not already.

Its also been said that a woman finds validation in her relationships with men. Her father is the foundation of that structure, becoming the proverbial model for which all others are to follow. The "daddy's little girl" complex doesn't seem to ever disappear, just goes through rigorous forms of modification, but essentially remaining the same. If daddy did something negative but yet acceptable, a road has been unintentionally laid for the next male to adhere to. That can be fantabulously great, or tragically damaging.

All the insecurities, self esteem issues, doubt, aloofness, stem from some misguided put down, accidental insult, or the more common lack of presence. If you suspect emotional problems in a young lady, trace the dotted lines & the complete picture will undoubtedly reveal itself.

It's not that she doesn't trust you, she doesn't trust her dad. Its not that she doesn't love you, she just never learned how to love a man. The same rhyme & reason as to why her mother couldn't love her father. So on & so forth until the beginning of that blood line is discovered. Realistically, what man in his right mind has the mental capacity to right the wrongs of generations of malfunction?

So here's what you do.

Be the best father you can be to your daughter, before she becomes some dude's chick. Though it may be of her own valition, the outcome may not reflect her intention. Break the chains, end the cycle. Respect her like you respect yourself, & although this isn't as easy as "add water & stir", the astounding simplicity of the process alone should be well worth the effort.

I practice what I preach, which to some degree should qualify me for an honorary degree (like Bill Cosby), but I'll settle for the title of good advice giver, even though my little brother "advises" against giving advice. The reason I know this works is because my daughter bugs me all day & night. Always a story to tell, question to ask, or something to show me.


My plan is to leave the biggest pair of shoes ever in existence for whatever jive talking little huckleberry that comes sniffing around her to fill. If she decides to sniff back, then hopefully that pudding will have the proof in it. No pun intended.

The same ideology can be applied toward the relationship between son & mother. It took me a few decades to learn how to treat a woman, & coincidentally, beyond diapers, my mother & I have never been close. Go figure.

If the theory doesn't apply, & a level of instability is still dominant in her persona, then that would be a clear cut case of a genuinely crazy woman.

If that's the case, remember I'm not authorized to comment on that subject. Stop reading, call the cops & get a restraining order immediately.