Wednesday, January 28, 2009

friends?

Kcuf friends.

I don't mean that in a "get money, hustle fa mine, against all odds" type of way. I mean it exactly how it was espoused.

Kcuf friends.

The definition of that loosely translated word is extremely flexible. To an extent, it varies with age, susceptible to scrutiny at any given moment. At the risk of sounding like an after school special, what exactly is a friend?

Before an adequate answer can be reached, understand that this is less of a question & more of a riddle. The appropriate response depends solely on the individual. Like snowflakes & fingerprints, no two descriptions will be alike.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not someone you grew up with or someone who you reveal your innermost secrets to. That interpretation is widely misunderstood, & grossly overused. It's more or less some elohssa you decided was cool enough to continue to hang around. If "love" & "companionship" pop into your mind, that's simply tihsllub propoganda, & there's a strong chance that you have been hoodwinked & bamboozled.

On a basic level of comprehension, those closest to you are friends, technically speaking (emotionally as well as physically). Take into consideration the process which goes into deciding who is granted such access into your life. There's no interview, no application, no background check, no requirements, & no experience necessary. Just a gut-feeling inspired portal into your world. Aside from offering up one's virginity, that's the most vulnerable position a person can place themselves in. You can't choose family, but you sure as kcuf can keep them at the business end of a 10' pole. Friends, however, are "by invitation only". If they ever decide to hurt you, YOU gave them the weapon, told them the window was unlocked & clearly stated what time you go to bed.

Only time determines who's worthy of such a heralded title. & in that time, I've concluded that I have no friends. Kcuf friends. All I truly have is family. In the sense that, if I considered you a "friend" at this point in my life, you have earned an honorary induction into it as a permenant fixture. On the same token, many of my actual family members have been excommunicated from my universe. For whatever reason, my sandline has been drawn & come hell &/or high water, I don't need them. I'd rather burn &/or drown, respectively.

I've endured pain, hardship, successfully been one of the "less fortunate", & only a select few have stood aside me while the storms were weathered.

Bloodlines have no merit against fact-based truths. Buddies, associaties, homies, peoples, partners are all interchangeable terms, like life-sized Lego blocks. But "family" is as rock solid as the tablets carried by Moses, & to a degree, just as important. I take that tihs very seriously.

Those who I love, know who they are, & that, is fact-based truth. They are my family. I NEED them, as opposed to want or desire.

After hate & beyond dislike is "Kcuf you". If think this pertains, you are most likely correct.

Kcuf friends, I don't have any.