Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Brains>Brain

Sometimes, you just have to envy the downtrodden. Mo' money, mo' problems, indeed. I imagine life is easiest when you're biggest worry is if you're going to eat later that day. Really though, worst case scenario, you could stand outside of a McDonalds, & look extremely pitiful, & some empathetic douche would buy you a McGriddle, or a McDouble, depending on what time it is. Either way, hunger knows no caloric intake. Tell a hungry man about his cholesterol, & he'll ask you if you're going to finish all of your fries. I make it a habit to give to the less fortunate, however I can. I save my aluminum cans for this homeless lady who trolls the neighborhood garbage cans, I buy this one dude a couple of burgers when I see him near my sons school, hell, if you need .35, & ask correctly, I may give you an entire dollar bill. Fuck what you plan to "really" do with it, as long as I know my heart is in the right place. That's why I try & feed somebody, as opposed to giving them cash. I'll be damned if a crackhead is going to smoke a .99 burrito. & if he does, God bless his lungs & throat lining. Point is, of all the people I come into contact with on a daily basis, the ones without much are usually the happiest. It may just be famine-induced hysteria, or a lack of nutrients has them unable to do much more than smile & nod, but they sure as hell seem content to me. Content beats contrite everyday of the Christian calendar.


As for these guys with assloads of dough, pause, their lives seem to be hell on wheels, floating in gasoline & nitroglycerin. One would assume that, given the opportunity to live life by one's own jurisdiction, that person would be diligent in finding peace & happiness. If a homeless man can do it, sleeping on a bus stop & eating what I throw away, surely it can be done if a man has the means to provide comfortably for himself. Now, I'm not pointing fingers, but I'm going to use two great examples. This has nothing to do with race, or profession. Any similarities are purely coincidental.


Shaquille O'Neal & Eldrick "Tiger" Woods. For all intents & purposes, these niggas are dumber than Katt Williams. For all the smarts that Eldrick seems to exude, he must not have ever read a book, watched a movie, or listened to a rap song. Otherwise, he'd know how counterproductive the wrong women can be. Especially when there's throngs of them, stroking your proverbial ball sack (pron: ego) to their benefit. I'm sure it's just the fact that guys who play Golf appear smarter than common folk, but I'm just saying. The more I watch, the more I see drunken hillbillies swinging sticks. As for Shaq, anything stupid he does, I just chalk up to him not being the curliest fry in the combo meal, per se. Dude may look like a dolphin, but by no means is he as smart as one. I know plenty dudes who play basketball for their respective schools, & not one of them is a math whiz. Or english, science or history for that matter, but again, just saying.


[tony's note: dolphins are mad smart, really though. flipper would kick lassie's ass...]


It's common knowledge that rich guys like toys. Side women, or jump-offs, are no different than a shiny new car or a ginormous television, or what have you. In a lot of cases, the toys can be detrimental. A motorcycle can kill you. A car can kill you. A woman can suck you dry-no pun intended, & drag your name through the mud like a plow mule. When cats get toys, especially real nice ones, they tend to neglect the important things. Now, in the case of inanimate objects, that don't mind the times when you walk away, that's not an issue. But, real-life, silicon/botox filled people? That becomes disastrous on several levels. What begins with wifey asking where you been, quickly becomes fancy plaything asking where are you going, & before you know it, Gloria Allred has you in the figure-four, sodomizing your bank account. Maybe it's my inner-poor person speaking, but that seems like an absolute bummer.


I rarely feel sorry for rich people, even when they're handicapped, but there's always a soft spot in my heart for a fool. When foolish behavior borders on absolute ignorance though, no dice. Even I know when to turn off the video games, & tend to my better half. I actually mean video games, that's not a euphemism.


Money can buy you brain, but it can't buy you brains...

12 comments:

Tony Grands said...

This post was written with respect to Haiti, & it's tragedy. I didn't want to beat y'all over the head with it. Say a prayer for those people, & their families, please.

BLESSD1 said...

"What begins with wifey asking where you been, quickly becomes fancy plaything asking where are you going, & before you know it, Gloria Allred has you in the figure-four, sodomizing your bank account."

Dude, I can't say, "FUNNIEST LINE EVAR" if you keep one-upping yourself. Hilarious. That's all...nothing constructive to add to the argument outside of the thought, "Why marry if you're going to be a himbo?"

Rob said...

IMO Tiger prolly didnt wanna get married but marrying the whitest chick one could find and posing as a family man for the cameras was just another way for him (and his sponsors, prolly his sponsors moreso)to add to his image as a clean cut family man so that he could sell even more shit than he already did. He just got caught like most greedy bastards do.

And Shaq... It wouldn't surprise me in the least if homie couldn't read this himself

LC said...

I think happiness has a lot to do with someones stress levels too. If you don't have nothing you ain't got shit to worry about.

Hope your not calling basketball players stupid, haha a few of us pass a class every once in a while.

Also the ESPN commercials with Shaq are classic, the Scrabble one?! Shit had me rolling, and then they followed it up with him showing dude the Shaqctus hahah. Classic

Tony Grands said...

LC!

Nah, no shots, mayne. I'm just talking about the buffoons I know. I agree, Shaq is hilarious. I hope his sense of humor holds up after Gloria plugs his glory(a) hole though...

A lot of these cats, Shaq, Tiger, Gilbert, hell, half the rap industry, bring the drama to themselves. That's always a fail in my book. Some shit in life can be avoided, really though.

I been married 7 years, so believe I learned that the hard way.

LC said...

Yea, Arenas? Like I don't understand how you get yourself in that situation, your in the NBA, you got all you would need, and you have a gun in your locker!? And you whip that shit out? C'mon now.

Also, you hear about Delonte West a while back? Dude had a shotgun in a guitar case on his back while riding a motorcycle with two handguns on it. WTF? Was he about to go shoot up a drug deal or something?

Yea, people just start feeling invincible I guess.

And when it comes to rap? I would just think they would drop all that street shit once they making crazy amounts of money.
I hope the Clipse aren't still cooking shit up in the recording studio, other than their crack music. Damn that sounded like a Combat Jack line...loving the clipse and shit

Tony Grands said...

Delonte West...lol

Peep this out:

http://tonygrands.blogspot.com/2009/09/wild-wild-delonte-west.html


www.tonygrands.blogspot.com/2009/09/wild-wild-delonte-west.html

http://www.tonygrands.blogspot.com/2009/09/wild-wild-delonte-west.html



Dont trip. It's all the same link. I was trying to see something.

LC said...

"Damn! Add a vampire, a white girl & somebody saying the word "nigga" pointlessly & this would be the beginning of a Tarantino movie."

Damn, that shit is so true about the Tarantino movies haha. Yea who knows whats up with Delonte West.

That like-skinned shit is so true though. People will always try and be more like everyone else in their environment, and I think that relates to many things, not just race or "Shades" as Wale put it.

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