I Gotcha Back, Barack Obama!

American's have got to be the most hypocritical nation of people since Asians started getting those operations to make their legs longer. They are the same group of folks who, hundreds of years ago, made their Geisha girls wrap wet cloths around their feet to the point of purposeful disfigurement, just to appear dainty & petite. When they took off their shoes, their feet looked like the grossest sushi rolls made of flesh & bone. Now, all of the sudden, they're breaking their legs & stretching them, for the sake of 1, maybe 1 1/2 inches of extra height. Yeah, American's are no different.


For the sake of argument, the entire country rallied around itself to celebrate the first colored man to be elected Commander In Chief earlier this year. I'm surprised Hot97 & Power106 don't play old negro spirituals in between Gucci Mane & Orange Juice Da Man, of whatever the hell his mom call's him. So, once the novelty of a Black dude calling the shots wore off, the hate rains like $1 bills at an Atlanta strip club. Americans, as a whole, were even mad that Barry received the Nobel Peace Prize. Wtf? Some went as far as to say he should have declined it. Yeah, that would have given ammunition to more right wing conservatives than O. J. Simpson's book release. Bill O'Reilly would've probably dedicated an entire show to how President Barack Obama, THE representative of the U. S. A., turned down such a prestigious accolade just to show how little he cares for our country. Sounds about right; O'Reilly's a Douche Nozzle Grand Wizard.


I think he deserved it, but not for the obvious reasons. In fact, here's a list of awards that President Obama gets, care of Reading & Writing Is For Dumb People. You heard me right, we hand out awards. Hopefully next year, I'll get Mike Epps to stand around & read over my shoulder while I'm typing...


The "Braver than me" award: When he made his speech at the inauguration, all I kept thinking about was J. F. K.'s assaination. & I was thousands of miles away, at home. For him to walk out, after all the racism that surfaced upon his election, without full body armor & a federal agent toting a gun bigger than Mini-me says a lot about the size of his balls [||]. To this day, I argue the point that he probably did have a vest on under that fancy ass suit, though. I know cats who wear vests to take out the trash.


The "I take care of my kids"
award: President Obama showed the world that Black American males do have the ability to love their mate & children simultaneously, & in one setting. All of us don't go scurrying into the woods to forage for more nuts (no pun intended). Actually, this award goes to all the Black guys I know that sacrifice it all for the betterment of their clan. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Thanks to Barack, there's now other places negroes can be observed outside of music videos & episodes of 'Cops'.


The "Reading & writing ain't for dumb people" award: Barry O. is as articulate, & in cases of the southern representatives of office, more so than plenty of people in the government. No matter how candid the recording, I've heard him pronounce all the letters of the words he uses, especially 'g' & 'r'. I think I heard him say "ain't" once, but they may have been just been Joe Biden in the background.


The "Keeping it real" award: Even though we like to put presidents higher on the social hierarchy, it's good that not only does President Obama play basketball, but he still walks like a brutha. I've seen some old photos of him, while still a resident of Hawaii rocking the 'fro, where he was chilling back, smoking Newports. Eff what people think, that dude still smokes Newports. & to the company's, ummm, credit, I've never met anybody other than niggas that smoke Newports. There's some viral video of him & Michelle dancing, & again, Black folks sure can cut a rug. It wasn't like he was doing the "Stanky Leg" or any other atrocious ghetto-tastic routine, but he was getting his groove on. I'll bet my Blackberry that, when he does the "Cupid Shuffle", he's in front of the crowd.


On behalf of Reading & Writing Is For Dumb People, we'd like you, President Barack Obama, to accept these awards. & since only 30 or so people read this, don't worry about a backlash upon your acceptance. You're welcome.


In all seriousness, I voted for Barack, & I'm not disappointed that I did. What I think people fail to realize is that, even the leader of the free world is a human being. Multiply that by the mantra, "You can't please everybody", & divide that by his responsibility to govern over millions of people, & how much can we, as a nation, possibly expect from him. His decisions may not always reflect my personal interest, but it's not like he's MY president. He's our president, & there's more to that position than starting wars & funding schools. He probably has the hardest job in America (next to bouncers at Black strip clubs), & even when it seems like he's lying, or not making good on a promise, I truly believe dude's trying to do the best he can.


The more his constituents go in on him, the more the outside world views America as a fragmented country. Conincidentally, Obama's the reason that America's not globally public enemy #1 any longer. All I'm saying is, not only has he not been in office less than a year, but let's give him a chance. Rome wasn't built in a day.