First & foremost, I want to extend peace, blessings, & prayers to all of you reading this. May your higher power be with you as we begin a new season of earthly life. Secondly, if you are reading this, congrats! You've survived another year on this God-forsaken planet, successfully navigating death, despair, poverty, disease (hopefully) & dozens of other misfortunate happenings that plenty of folks have succumbed to. So, no matter how bad things may appear, rejoice in your apparent resilience, & rest assured that, though another person's existence is by no means a measuring stick, there's always someone who's worse off than you. Whether that makes you happy or sad is your call. I'm just here to point shit out & provide commentary. All other assessments are yours to make. No need to thank me, but you are welcome, just in case.
However, I will thank you, for fucking with me. Pause-if that makes you uncomfortable. As I've stated several times, there's no tangible reason for cats & dogs & birds to come & read my words. I appreciate the fact that you deem me worthy of your time. Time, being the most expensive asset in the world, because once it's gone, it's gone, even if you're Marty McFly. When I was a kid, I was adamant on building a time machine, so once I got to a certain age, I could go back in time & do it again. When I grew up, I realized that even if I did that, I'd still grow old, but perhaps I'd be able to warn a youthful Tony Grands about avoidable missteps. Then I remembered some movies I'd seen about flux capacitors & space-time continuums, & my high started coming down, & I was off that. But anyway...
I want to share a few things I've learned this year, if I may. I've learned that the majority of your family has no blood relation to you. I've learned that life is short as hell, & if you're a Black man, over the age of 35, you are middle-aged. I'm creeping up on 34, so, yeah. I've learned that anger is a heavy burden, & forgiveness is an elusive state of mind, & the two cannot occupy the same space simultaneously. I haven't quite learned yet how to make the transition between the two, but I'm working on that. I'll keep you posted.
I've learned that women are easy to please, but men are too stubborn to see it. That one was actually a couple of years in the making, but now I have the solidified happiness to show & share with the world. I've learned that being a good parent is usually the deciding factor in the child's victories & failures. As well, I've learned that being a good parent is a trait that is born from humility, experience & a willingness to step back sometimes & let nature take it's course. I've learned that my parents aren't super heroes, or robots, but rather normal human beings, just like me. & no matter how hard I try, I'll never be a super hero, or robot, either. I've learned that mustard is good on any type of meat. Pause. I've learned that most adult humans can't digest milk, & those that can have a mutated gene. I've learned that A LOT of people don't really read the Bible, they just skim through to the "good" parts. I've learned that "the truth" is dependent on the eye of the beholder, like beauty, but actuality never, ever changes.
I've learned that more people love & respect me, than hate & despise me. I've learned that I love & respect more people than I hate & despise. Actually, I've learned that I really don't hate anyone, & quite possibly never have. Hate is a strong emotion. Stronger than most people can truly fathom. It's just such a fun word to toss around that it's lost it's edge, like "nigga". I've learned how gullible people fall in love over the Internet. Personality is the axis of attraction, even if physical qualities distract us. If one's personality is genuine, assuming they're being true, how could a bond not be formed, even without physical contact? I've learned that you don't have to meet someone in person for them to be a friend. & I've learned that a personal relationship with someone doesn't mean they're your friend, regardless of what they say. "They" always have something to say...
Don't you just love how Black folks love to end any ceremonious event with a shout out? On Court TV, I actually saw a dude rattle off "shout outs" as he was being escorted away for life imprisonment. Roffle mayo. Oh well, he'll think twice before he murders a prostitute again. But anyway, there's far too many cats who supported me over this last year or so, but I love y'all motherfuckers. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Thanks for the support, for believing in me, for the kind words, the intelligent exchanges, the real talks-when necessary, & basically being there for me, as well as giving me a reason to be here for y'all. Really though, I appreciate the appreciation.
Brand new year, brand new bullshit, same old nigga...Happy New Year, Bitches!
[tony's note: keep your goddamned gun(s) in the house tonight...please]
Showing posts with label reading and writing is for dumb people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reading and writing is for dumb people. Show all posts
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I Gotcha Back, Barack Obama!
American's have got to be the most hypocritical nation of people since Asians started getting those operations to make their legs longer. They are the same group of folks who, hundreds of years ago, made their Geisha girls wrap wet cloths around their feet to the point of purposeful disfigurement, just to appear dainty & petite. When they took off their shoes, their feet looked like the grossest sushi rolls made of flesh & bone. Now, all of the sudden, they're breaking their legs & stretching them, for the sake of 1, maybe 1 1/2 inches of extra height. Yeah, American's are no different.
For the sake of argument, the entire country rallied around itself to celebrate the first colored man to be elected Commander In Chief earlier this year. I'm surprised Hot97 & Power106 don't play old negro spirituals in between Gucci Mane & Orange Juice Da Man, of whatever the hell his mom call's him. So, once the novelty of a Black dude calling the shots wore off, the hate rains like $1 bills at an Atlanta strip club. Americans, as a whole, were even mad that Barry received the Nobel Peace Prize. Wtf? Some went as far as to say he should have declined it. Yeah, that would have given ammunition to more right wing conservatives than O. J. Simpson's book release. Bill O'Reilly would've probably dedicated an entire show to how President Barack Obama, THE representative of the U. S. A., turned down such a prestigious accolade just to show how little he cares for our country. Sounds about right; O'Reilly's a Douche Nozzle Grand Wizard.
I think he deserved it, but not for the obvious reasons. In fact, here's a list of awards that President Obama gets, care of Reading & Writing Is For Dumb People. You heard me right, we hand out awards. Hopefully next year, I'll get Mike Epps to stand around & read over my shoulder while I'm typing...
The "Braver than me" award: When he made his speech at the inauguration, all I kept thinking about was J. F. K.'s assaination. & I was thousands of miles away, at home. For him to walk out, after all the racism that surfaced upon his election, without full body armor & a federal agent toting a gun bigger than Mini-me says a lot about the size of his balls [||]. To this day, I argue the point that he probably did have a vest on under that fancy ass suit, though. I know cats who wear vests to take out the trash.
The "I take care of my kids"
award: President Obama showed the world that Black American males do have the ability to love their mate & children simultaneously, & in one setting. All of us don't go scurrying into the woods to forage for more nuts (no pun intended). Actually, this award goes to all the Black guys I know that sacrifice it all for the betterment of their clan. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Thanks to Barack, there's now other places negroes can be observed outside of music videos & episodes of 'Cops'.
The "Reading & writing ain't for dumb people" award: Barry O. is as articulate, & in cases of the southern representatives of office, more so than plenty of people in the government. No matter how candid the recording, I've heard him pronounce all the letters of the words he uses, especially 'g' & 'r'. I think I heard him say "ain't" once, but they may have been just been Joe Biden in the background.
The "Keeping it real" award: Even though we like to put presidents higher on the social hierarchy, it's good that not only does President Obama play basketball, but he still walks like a brutha. I've seen some old photos of him, while still a resident of Hawaii rocking the 'fro, where he was chilling back, smoking Newports. Eff what people think, that dude still smokes Newports. & to the company's, ummm, credit, I've never met anybody other than niggas that smoke Newports. There's some viral video of him & Michelle dancing, & again, Black folks sure can cut a rug. It wasn't like he was doing the "Stanky Leg" or any other atrocious ghetto-tastic routine, but he was getting his groove on. I'll bet my Blackberry that, when he does the "Cupid Shuffle", he's in front of the crowd.
On behalf of Reading & Writing Is For Dumb People, we'd like you, President Barack Obama, to accept these awards. & since only 30 or so people read this, don't worry about a backlash upon your acceptance. You're welcome.
In all seriousness, I voted for Barack, & I'm not disappointed that I did. What I think people fail to realize is that, even the leader of the free world is a human being. Multiply that by the mantra, "You can't please everybody", & divide that by his responsibility to govern over millions of people, & how much can we, as a nation, possibly expect from him. His decisions may not always reflect my personal interest, but it's not like he's MY president. He's our president, & there's more to that position than starting wars & funding schools. He probably has the hardest job in America (next to bouncers at Black strip clubs), & even when it seems like he's lying, or not making good on a promise, I truly believe dude's trying to do the best he can.
The more his constituents go in on him, the more the outside world views America as a fragmented country. Conincidentally, Obama's the reason that America's not globally public enemy #1 any longer. All I'm saying is, not only has he not been in office less than a year, but let's give him a chance. Rome wasn't built in a day.
For the sake of argument, the entire country rallied around itself to celebrate the first colored man to be elected Commander In Chief earlier this year. I'm surprised Hot97 & Power106 don't play old negro spirituals in between Gucci Mane & Orange Juice Da Man, of whatever the hell his mom call's him. So, once the novelty of a Black dude calling the shots wore off, the hate rains like $1 bills at an Atlanta strip club. Americans, as a whole, were even mad that Barry received the Nobel Peace Prize. Wtf? Some went as far as to say he should have declined it. Yeah, that would have given ammunition to more right wing conservatives than O. J. Simpson's book release. Bill O'Reilly would've probably dedicated an entire show to how President Barack Obama, THE representative of the U. S. A., turned down such a prestigious accolade just to show how little he cares for our country. Sounds about right; O'Reilly's a Douche Nozzle Grand Wizard.
I think he deserved it, but not for the obvious reasons. In fact, here's a list of awards that President Obama gets, care of Reading & Writing Is For Dumb People. You heard me right, we hand out awards. Hopefully next year, I'll get Mike Epps to stand around & read over my shoulder while I'm typing...
The "Braver than me" award: When he made his speech at the inauguration, all I kept thinking about was J. F. K.'s assaination. & I was thousands of miles away, at home. For him to walk out, after all the racism that surfaced upon his election, without full body armor & a federal agent toting a gun bigger than Mini-me says a lot about the size of his balls [||]. To this day, I argue the point that he probably did have a vest on under that fancy ass suit, though. I know cats who wear vests to take out the trash.
The "I take care of my kids"
award: President Obama showed the world that Black American males do have the ability to love their mate & children simultaneously, & in one setting. All of us don't go scurrying into the woods to forage for more nuts (no pun intended). Actually, this award goes to all the Black guys I know that sacrifice it all for the betterment of their clan. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Thanks to Barack, there's now other places negroes can be observed outside of music videos & episodes of 'Cops'.
The "Reading & writing ain't for dumb people" award: Barry O. is as articulate, & in cases of the southern representatives of office, more so than plenty of people in the government. No matter how candid the recording, I've heard him pronounce all the letters of the words he uses, especially 'g' & 'r'. I think I heard him say "ain't" once, but they may have been just been Joe Biden in the background.
The "Keeping it real" award: Even though we like to put presidents higher on the social hierarchy, it's good that not only does President Obama play basketball, but he still walks like a brutha. I've seen some old photos of him, while still a resident of Hawaii rocking the 'fro, where he was chilling back, smoking Newports. Eff what people think, that dude still smokes Newports. & to the company's, ummm, credit, I've never met anybody other than niggas that smoke Newports. There's some viral video of him & Michelle dancing, & again, Black folks sure can cut a rug. It wasn't like he was doing the "Stanky Leg" or any other atrocious ghetto-tastic routine, but he was getting his groove on. I'll bet my Blackberry that, when he does the "Cupid Shuffle", he's in front of the crowd.
On behalf of Reading & Writing Is For Dumb People, we'd like you, President Barack Obama, to accept these awards. & since only 30 or so people read this, don't worry about a backlash upon your acceptance. You're welcome.
In all seriousness, I voted for Barack, & I'm not disappointed that I did. What I think people fail to realize is that, even the leader of the free world is a human being. Multiply that by the mantra, "You can't please everybody", & divide that by his responsibility to govern over millions of people, & how much can we, as a nation, possibly expect from him. His decisions may not always reflect my personal interest, but it's not like he's MY president. He's our president, & there's more to that position than starting wars & funding schools. He probably has the hardest job in America (next to bouncers at Black strip clubs), & even when it seems like he's lying, or not making good on a promise, I truly believe dude's trying to do the best he can.
The more his constituents go in on him, the more the outside world views America as a fragmented country. Conincidentally, Obama's the reason that America's not globally public enemy #1 any longer. All I'm saying is, not only has he not been in office less than a year, but let's give him a chance. Rome wasn't built in a day.
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