Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Father's Day: The Late Pass Edition

We can all agree on one thing; Dads are mythical creatures, like leprechauns. If you're lucky enough to stumble upon a "pot o' gold", then you become the exception. Congrats. Otherwise, Dads are an urban legend that most only see in action during prime time television viewing, amidst whispers about them at school &/or work.

FTR, I have the greatest Dad ever, so......

The lack of Father's has been apparent for quite some time, depending on your vantage point, but Hollywood brings it to light, even more so than my immediate group of friends. I thrive on being the best dad I can be, what with so many accounts of how absentee/negligent fathers contribute to the crime rate & all. I'd hate to think my homeboy's son may rob me at gunpoint some day simply because he stayed at the strip club all the time. Don't laugh, it ain't funny.

Daddies teach, protect, nurture, discipline, etc. Supposedly. But where was Rihanna's dad when she got domesticated?

I understand we must allow our kids to fend for themselves in life, but *ahem* F#$k that. You hit my kids, there will be discrepancies afoot (Word to Bernie Mac-RIP). Even if they are grown. Some things in life are worth the possible punishment. (Black) eye for an eye, am I right? All jokes aside, dude kicked her ass pretty good, & if nothing else, that needed to be addressed with the same level of testosterone as it was dished out. Even Brown's step-dad, who's been rumored to have smacked his mom around rom time to time, should've given Young Chris a reason to sing a new tune (npi). I know its easy to arm-chair quarterback a situation like that, but I have a daughter. & insanity &/or passion crime is a legitimate plea, for possible future reference. It would be different if it were all speculation, but he did. & we know he did it. Hell, dude admitted it. No Judgment though, unless it's probation & community service...

*rimshot*

Which leads me to my next point.

Say you have a more or less of-age daughter, who is old enough to experiment in amorous behaviors. No biggie, because any of us dad's with princesses know that one day, this will occur. But, let's just say that said act(s) was recorded, & during the taping, your daughter got peed on, on purpose. At that point, it wouldn't matter how curious she was/is, all that counts is that some guy emptied his bladder on her. At this juncture, playtime becomes ass-whipping time. Granted, daddy's girl may be a freak of Janet Jackson proportions, but to broadcast such degradation is unfathomable. Even hookers have feelings. Humiliation is an understatement, especially in regards to a man who probably can't spell it. Really, I mean eye tee. Mr. Kelly would have most assuredly been man-handled & pissed on for all of youtube to enjoy. I'd have been a folk hero, like Tookie Williams. Or at the very least, high-fived as I went to work that Monday.

Maybe what I'm trying to say, I guess, is I think both those womanizers should have went to prison. God knows how they love a man who mistreats women in those places. But, I would've preferred a couple of televised ass-kickings, courtesy of their fathers.