Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I Do (not)........


Another one bites the dust. Reports have it that Usher & his mom, I mean wife are severing ties after a couple of years & a couple of babies. Seems like there's an email going around that these successful young millionaires can do better than the crumbs they settled for. I'll admit, I'd seen some pictures of NaS' wife Kelis that made her look pretty okay. But, upon further research, I retract my statement. There's a lot of pics on the 'Net.

NaS' wife supposedly left him for cheating. Men do that, so I understand. He's a little too old to be chasing chickens if you ask me, but to each his own. Now, I wouldn't be surprised if Usher Raymond did the same thing. Not because he's terribly attractive [||], but because he's young & rich, while his wife is young-ish & rich by association. Not that there's anything wrong with marrying down. Its kind of like social charity. But if that is the case, one should be allowed to dip out occasion. Like, if you donate so much cash to a school, they name a library or something after you. Same difference.

The one's I can't understand are the Mel Gibson-type cats. They have a thousand kids, 62 years of marriage (however stale), grandchildren, history, basically have the person that they might as well grow old & die with. Yet, he decides at the ripe age of 124 to find a more youthful BRIDE & impregnate her immediately. Isn't the point of divorcing to get out of the game? Especially if/when you have a woman that sticks by you through crappy movies & anti-semitic tirades? In that case, the same thing can be said for Usher & NaS' wives. Their last albums were okay at best.

I'm not quite sure what the deal was with Russell & Kimora. Personally, I think she got tired of the lisp. Although, a heavy african accent should be equally as annoying, unless one's shopping for jewelry or incense. I had thought that Russell was pimping his Rush Card so hard because he was a money hungry jerk with no regard for the "people" he represents & no one buys his clothes any longer. No Dice. Kimora is a money hungry jerk with the multiple children by different fathers to prove it. Russell just happened to be one of the sperm donors. I'm sure in a few of years Kimora will get tired of Djimon & call INS on him. Or give him back the 12 goats his father offered her as a ransom & tell him to pack his mule & start swimming.

Cat's talk that pre-nup stuff, but women found a way around that, & it's been working great for years. It's called gloveless love. Not only does a baby override any binding legal contracts, but it gives the woman full access to your personal life, making it that much easier for them to torment you until the day you stroke [||] & die during an argument. I'm a firm believer in the theory that women are put on the planet to drive men to the court house, the poor house, the crazy house & the funeral, umm, house. In that order.

If any young dudes reading this have doubts, don't. Love still exists & good woman are still around. Just don't go looking for them at TGIF's. Or the Swapmeet. Or liquor store parking lots. Or any place where skin-tight pants & muffin-top exposing shirts are mandatory.