Monday, April 20, 2009

Obama will never be a great president.......

Here's why.........

Because he's a good president.

He's very humble, articulate, well-mannered, intelligent, efficient, stern; just an all around stand-up guy. & so far, his performance as Commander-In-Chief has been pretty fair if not pretty good. That, not does a great president make.

A "great" president has a landmark. Meaning, he has some oafish, retard quality that pinpoints his idiocy within a matter of seconds, & solidifies his legacy for time indefinite. Bush (1 & 2) both had that brain-numbing ability to pause mid-sentence, like bullets in 'The Matrix' movie, then drop the hammer in a manner that leaves something to be desired. Like a purpose for your time. & any president with the ability to make up & fully utilize non-words, such as "nucular", wins hands down over a man, such as Obama, who can actually prove his point using his grasp of the English language. Sorry Barry, you lose.

Landmarks can be overridden by charisma. Especially the charisma of a pimp/child molester as we found in Big Willy Clinton. Even before he let interns sample the southern-style life juices, he still had that "don't leave him alone with you're most attractive daughter, no matter her age" air about him. But, when he made the Oval office his personal mini-gentlemen's club, along with the help of Monica Lewinsky's mouth, he proved what we all thought. Bill was a stud; a himbo of sorts. The type of guy to install a stripper pole in his bedroom. The type of guy who really did buy edible undies; most likely for himself. The type of guy who'd ditch Secret Service during an early morning jog just to scarf down a grease-slathered McRib sandwich. With or without his saxophone with him. He did great things for world relations, but greater things for playas across the globe. As for B.O. (no disrespect, sir), you have a wonderful, supportive family. So, again, score one for the other guy.

Our current president is the antithesis of most his predecessors. The closest to a joke about him is the fact that he has those lips; too close to the roach clip lips. With 3/4 of the population being admitted weedaholics, who really cares. Let's face it, there's not much to do in Hawaii but surf (he is half-white), crack cocnuts open with rocks (hey, close enough to bananas, right?), & get zooted. Something tells me basketball sort of fell in his lap, being the only black guy on an island & all.

Maybe he'll accidentally back over his dog, or sprain his ankle going in for a lay up. Oh how the media would eat up our first Black C.I.C twisting his ankle playing the one sport we totally dominate. That would probably be just as bad as paparazzi snapping shots of Michelle Obama hording Kool Aid at the local Food For Less. Even that wouldn't be so depressingly humorous as Watergate &/or releasing tens of thousands of crazed people back into society for lack of funding. Yeah, Reagan's innate douchebagology was that of the rich man who steps over the one homeless guy who really does need twenty five cents for a cup of hot chocolate. Good luck with that winter chill, average joe.

Being the nice guy that he's unable to stop being, you've got to wonder about the presidents who actually were great, in the literal sense of the term. For example, Lincoln. An avid believer in freedom for all; brains blown out at the theatre. Kennedy Jr; an avid believer in freedom for all; brains blown out while the whole world watched. If there's any correlation, I'll let you make it. But I will say that being a Humanitarian sure isn't what it seems to be.

I guess one could assess that Obama's greatness is/will be pidgeonholed by the fact that he's [half] black; the first of his kind. Perhaps in the history books, hundreds of years down the line, he'll be known as the man who opened up the White House to Asians, women, homosexuals, midgets, hispanics, you name it. With his inaugruation, the melting pot finally spilled over onto the lily white steps of Washington D.C. That in itself has got to be a set up for some type of joke, & a great one at that.


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