Wednesday, December 30, 2009

HOW TO CARRY WEED...

There's nothing wrong with having a down ass partner. & rightfully so, there's nothing wrong with being said partner. We all need those people, or need to be those people in life. It creates & sustains balance. Yin & yang, so to speak. A king isn't a king without servants & council, & thusly, servants & council are formless without a figurehead to fall behind. In the Hip Hop world, the main dude, commonly known as the star, the breadwinner or simply "the boss", has an entourage, full of various characters; yes men, "security", barbers, gophers, groupie getters, "the gay guy", etc. But at the top of that hierarchy of hanger-oners is the weed carrier. One doesn't become a weed carrier overnight. It takes years of unsolicited, fellatious behavior with no regard for one's own dignity, esteem, & in some cases, manhood. Most often, the weed carrier's career begins as the sidekick, the go-to man who has stayed loyal, & risen through the ranks of come & go faces, to be crowned the coveted spot next to the breadwinner of the operation. Benefits include: standing directly behind the star in most videos, accompanying the star out on stage during performances to cover all ad-libs & forgotten verses, spokesperson for the star when the star's not available, laughing at all the boss' jokes-especially in public, & lastly-carrying drugs, guns, &/or anything the star has no business carrying on his/her person. A faithful, studious weed carrier can parlay his/her skills as a professional lackey into various careers. Notice the similarities between the words "carrier" & "career". Just saying. Plenty of today's celebrities began as weed carriers, most noteworthy is Flavor Flav, who eventually shucked, jived, & cooned his way into super stardom, surpassing that of his boss, Chuck D. Flav single handedly changed the game, & epitomized the role as mega-sidekick extraordinaire, dancing &"Yeaaaah booooyeeeee"-ing his way through Public Enemy videos, albums, & concerts, eventually dropping lucid verses on politically charged songs that he had no business yelling on. The crowned jewel of that leg of his success being a cameo on Ice Cube's 'Only Out For One Thing', in 1990. Also, see umbrella holder Fonzworth Bentley, back seat rappers Tony Yayo & Spliff Star, & Memphis Bleek. When Flavor stepped into the limelight on his own, he left a big ass pair of clown shoes to fill. Enters Memphis Bleek. With Jay-Z on his back (sort of) & the future on his mind, fleeting success is an ad-lib & a co-sign away, & Bleek has perservered just long enough to see it through. Maybe.


Bleek is the consummate weed carrier. Actually, I'm sure Jay-Z traded weed for illegal cuban cigars sprinkled with hobo ashes a couple million dollars ago, but for conversational purposes, Memphis is a weed carrier. & a damn good one, at that. When discussing with others about business dealings with the boss, integrity should never take a backseat to humility. "We ain’t do nothing yet [for my new album]… One thing about me and Jay, we don’t do forced music… If that’s the case I’da been all over these last [Jay-Z] albums." Now, while he could've said, 'Nah, Jay won't call me back, but it's all good 'cuz he be busy & shit," he opted for the more diplomatic approach, so as not to step on toes &/or make himself uncomfortable the next time he asks for a "loan". That's a smart, well mannered man, undoubtedly with a plan. "It takes a while; you can’t just take over a empire overnight."


"I got this joint called ‘Forever Roc Boy,’ [and] he might, he might wanna get on that because where I’m going on that, man, niggas gonna be mad at me, baby." Any good weed carrier knows that he must not only taunt other possible baggage handlers as often as possible, but keep the boss guessing by wafting blanket statements of what he's got going on. If the boss thinks the weed carrier is growing complacent, he will surely, & swiftly replace him with the next eager beaver in line.


A weed carrier's position does come with some confusing times. One's identity is usually sacrificed in the process if they're not careful, cautious, & cognizant. Truly, only the strong can survive in such a menial capacity, all the while still looking forward to a grander scheme. "Being that Jay’s my brother, and we represent it and we really got that love for each other, he blessed me with the right to [be able] to own [the] rights to everything of Memphis Bleek right now and do my own thing, and where I would own my own masters and all that. Ain’t that what we worked for? So, that’s the best thing. If he achieved it, why not show me the same light. That’s my brother, right"? Notice the rhetorical questions & the symbiotic rambling, so he doesn't forget that he's still his own man, while haplessly suckling the teet that feeds him. That's nothing short of genius. Up & coming weed carriers should note the poise & grace demonstrated, it could be the difference boning the groupies, or going to get them more liquor to drink.


A legitimate weed carrier finds opportunities to praise the boss, simultaneously showing other's why he's the chosen one. "If you really pay attention, man, everybody running around like as if Jay owed us something. That man did all he could do for us. So it’s like, once everybody got they contracts terminated and went to make they own decisions and wanted to go they own way, you had to pick up where you left off and do your thing." Indeed. & his thing is, sticking close to what's good. How can anybody be mad at that?


While the fickle public observes the weed carriers role as useless, somewhat of a dead-end job for kiss asses, the weed carrier is intently focused, careful to pat his own back as much as he strokes the necessary amount of balls. "Like, my loyalty to Jay, definitely that’s something lost in the game. If you really just pay attention to my career, I been down with Jay from before Jay was Jay, when he was known as Shawn in the projects, I been rollin’ with him, ‘til now. We went from borrowing sugar from each other house to this dude - “Yo, let me hold a G5.” And nothing changed. That’s my dude". With the exception of Flavor Flav, & blame the rumors of crack smoking if you must, a weed carrier's responsibility always allows wiggle room for association. As often as possible. Such leverage exposes opportunities for self-promotion, without appearing mutinous. Tony Yayo once used such manuevers, until he decidedly opted to glamorize 50 Cent non-stop, which is clearly the more lucrative decision. Why waste time rapping, when you can be another man's live action billboard. In a perfect world, that's gotta count for something.


The basic element of weed carrying, which is somewhat of a lost art in today's cannibalistic rap world, is Kool-Aid sipping. Though it has evolved somewhat since (the real) Jim Jones perfected it decades ago, the premise remains unscathed. Love your leader, follow him blindly, & hold on tight, no matter how much he strings you along. That's the only way to be granted admission into the spaceship, per se. "I never been the guy who made a mistake, took a L, then be in the public eye whining about it, blaming, pointing fingers. I never been that guy neither. From all you ever seen me is, whether my homie’s right or wrong, he always been right in my eyes, and I’ma stand 100% by him". The sky's the limit when eggregious co-signing has no boundaries. If the book 'The 48 Laws Of Power' had an ass backwards, Bizzaro-world, dyslexic edition, it would surely be the weed carrier's survival guide.


When it's all said & done, the weed carrier's job is to make his boss shine, & let people know that, while somebody has got to do the waxing, it's all for a greater good. A feel good story about self-affirmation, with the breadwinner as the nucleus, is the weed carrier's best friend. It's like a publicity hand grenade, for when the talent bop gun gets low on ammunition.


"Like, let me tell you something that just happened recently, right, you know they just did the tenth anniversary photo shoot for Roc-A-Wear? So they called me to come down there and do the picture or whatever. The Roc-A-Wear people tried to pay me, like they had a check for me at the photo shoot. And I’m like, “Nah, I can’t take that check.” I think the check was like for between I think like $7,000 to $10,000. And I’m like, “I can’t take that check.” And the dude he like, “Yo, why not?” I’m like, “Nah ‘cause this my homie's company. Why my man gotta pay me just to take some pictures? Like, this my nigga! We from the [same] projects. You don’t have to pay me. [Doing] this is nothing.” So then Jay called me the next day like, “Yo Bleek, why you ain’t take the money?” I’m like, “Yo Hov, that’s like me stealing from you, just taking money from you, c’mon. What I did for you yesterday took 15 minutes out my day, you don’t have to pay me for that. I’ma get the money some other way.” And that nigga said to me, “Yo that’s why I love you, you one of the realest niggas ever, you would never meet nobody else in the world who would do that...And that’s just the loyalty I have to my team...I’m always for my team first".


Nowadays, niggas are quick to jump to the head of the class. Gone are the days when a dude would politely sit back, & wait, & wait, & wait, & wait, without any obvious signs of his time coming, anytime soon, but still hold it down for the team. Or more specifically, the boss. Memphis Bleek deserves a special place in Hip Hop for that sheer determination. He realizes that if he can't drive the Maybach, he can at least ride shotgun until he get's dropped off at home. & not a lot of hangers-on can say that, with misguided-yet adament pride, & still look in the mirror as men the next morning.


Giving credit where credit is due, Memph Bleek is...the GOAT (of weed carriers).


*with assistance from HipHopDX.com*

5 comments:

BLESSD1 said...

Damn, T. Grands. I think I actually almost feel sorry for Memph Bleek now. Nah...fux that; his tirelessly nut-juggling Jigga's sack has made him a millionaire. I bet if he cries himself to sleep at night, he wipes his tears w/more money than I earn in a year. FUNNY post!

Curtis75Black said...

Any man with the sense god gave him should've realized this from his debut on "Coming of Age" - the only track I refuse to listen to on Reasonable Doubt. Homie was a dick rider on that track, not taking the$ 1000.00 riding with Jay for free !! Him not taking the $ 7000.00 -10,000.00 from the photo shoot shouldn't surpise anyone.

Don said...

Grands you're crazy for this one.

You forgot Flav shucked & jived in "I Ain't No Joke".

As for the rap Robin(Bleek), you took that shampoo $ but won't take your boy's clothing line $. Now I'm thinking Bleek doesn't get paid for shows either.

I'm wondering if Bleek will hyphenate Knowles in his name too...

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