The (cyber)World Is A Ghetto

I was tooling through the slums of World Star Hip Hop the other day & when I was done gazing at the wondrous peaks & valleys of Ms. LaStarya & mindlessly partaking in the gratuitous amounts of nigganomics & coontrocities, I realized something; this is the urban legend that ignorance is built upon. A utopia of shuck & jive unlike any other known to Niggerdom. If I had no other avenue to which my "hip hop" sweet tooth was to be satisfied by, I'd be assed out, misguided, bamboozled, hoodwinked, etc.

Every other recording is a beef. Or a response to a beef. Or an outsiders point of view of some other beef. Or some lame duck has-been being interviewed about their pointless objectivity towards this weeks dead horse. As if hip hop needs more niggas dishing out opinions & personal philosophies. Somewhere in the muck & mire of testosterone, one can occasionally luck up on some funny ass mishap video, scantily clad thoroughbred or random dude freestyling in his mom's living room about how many ways to Sunday he'll blow holes through you. No Dice. If I want to see babies lip syncing the words to "We are the World", or some dude being dragged through a mud pit on the back of a Chevy pick-up, I'll visit YouTube on my lunch hour. I don't believe that WSHH intended to become the ghetto of the 'Nets, but it's now what BET once was between the wee hours of 2-4 a.m. 24 hours a day.

& correct me if I'm wrong, but are there ever any other races featured besides black folks? I can't recall ever stumbling over a white guy strumming his guitar or showcasing his kickflip/railslide prowess. I might have come across a gyrating white chick or two, but in that case the last thing I was looking for was skin tone. The videos, professional or user submitted, all look the same anyway; thousands of thugged out blunt rollers wearing eye-covering baseball hats & Elton John amounts of jewelry with the requisite unemployed pole straddler. & with rap music becoming so complacent & unoriginal, I usually don't even look at the artist's names unless there's valid reason to waste my time. Cats can talk all the "hipsters must die" shit they want, but that's the last thing I see on World Star. I wouldn't mind the hippie hop interlude to break up all the threats of violence, acts of stupidity & stretch-marked boobery.

Remember that episode of Dave Chapelle when the internet was a shopping mall? He never visted WSHH. It would've been niggas standing around smoking trees, watching stripper's bounce they assets for quarters while cats were getting knocked out to hip hop fight songs. The South Side of the mall, of course.

The unexplainable part about it is that I can't turn away. It's like a slow-motion car wreck. Or better yet, unprotected sex; once you start, it's hard to stop. Maybe they put crack in the transmission. Or the logo has hypnotic qualities. Whatever it is, I feel sorry for the impressionable tweenager who lives by the unremarkable standard set by this site.

I would hate for some adolescent from Zumunda to find WSHH & think that this is the best that American hip hop has to offer. It's no wonder that foreign countries are (& have been) so quick to blame the good ol' USA for the social problems they have. As far as OUR presentation goes, look at Exhibit A. There are dozens of good hip hop sites that give you the full gamut of the culture, & in case you've been under a rock or in a cave, WSHH ain't one of them.