Trina: Baby Momma Drama

"With the current state that Haiti is in right now; I personally feel like donating monetary and physical possessions is a enormous and vast donation...however I would like to contribute on a higher level for more personal reasons in addition to being ready to raise/nurture a child; by being involved on a day to day bases. The tragic and untimely list of events that have happen in Haiti even before the recent earthquake have made me realize how blessed I am as a individual and I want to share that with a child...in addition to adding on to my immediate family circle. I am in the financial position to adopt; therefore I am taking it into deep consideration at this time, I have always admired other individuals for adopting  children not so much for their celebrity status but more so because of the 'nurturing' and invaluable change and joy it will bring to a child’s life. Lastly the fact that I am considering adopting a child from Haiti is even more significant to me seeing that a great deal of adopted children that come into the United States are from larger countries such as China, Russia and Africa. I also have family members that are of Haitian descent." - rapper Trina, via HipHopDX


What a tool. Perhaps the entertainment industry has an annual award for pretentious assholes that the public at large isn't aware of. Of course, us average joe's wouldn't get a memo about the elite attempting to one-up each other in terms of being a douche nozzle. Seems Trina's getting a leg up on the competition early. No pun intended. Well, maybe a little.


This is the mentality that chicken heads nationwide have, that just because they're alive & capable of buying a Happy Meal, they'll be an asset to some unfortunate kid's meager existence. No dice. Parenting takes more than an "I think I can" attitude & a bejeweled purse full of strip club dough. She's probably one of those "god parents" that takes that arbitrary title way too seriously. Pictures of her god kids in her wallet & what not. Rap music & fiscal success aside, Trina feels as though she has what it takes to be somebody's mother, all of the sudden, & it only took an earthquake that killed 200,000 people, in another country, for her to realize that. Are there no needy children in America that would love to have a mother? This would appear to be a clear-cut case of stepping over the homeless people outside of your building on the way to help the one's in front of a camera, even if it's all the way across town. Self sacrifice is the Holy Grail of face time. Maybe the life of a Z-list rapstress is too full of blunt smoke & bbq's for her to have noticed any of those commercials about kids who need love, followed by a phone number to a local foster care facility. Hell, I don't doubt that she's spent time in the foster system; she just reeks of needing to be "loved."

Even beyond the posturing it takes to publicly announce that you plan to adopt a child from such a desolate place, there's a certain douche bag tenacity in opting to grab a child & run, versus trying to help the country as a whole. Assuming one can afford to do such a thing. I'm sure there's dozens of people who have big money, & chose to give a sizeable amount to the Red Cross, without saying a word about it to anyone. Trina, on the other hand, is treating the news coverage as a brochure, or a catalog, as if bringing a Haitian kid back to Florida with her is going to help ease the pain & suffering of millions of people. She probably wants a cookie, too. I say this not to demean Trina's efforts at making a difference, but at the very least, this isn't the type of statement you make to the world. Hip Hop or otherwise. If she feels that their catastrophe was a maternal catalyst, cool. Do what you gotta do, sis. But don't start stroking your nuts & rehearsing your acceptance speech for "Humanitarian of the Year" just yet. I'd much rather see you exposing the itty-bitty's & complaining about what a nigga can't do for you instead. For the amount(s) of money she claims to have, she could adopt an entire neighborhood over there, personally funding it's regrowth & rehabilitation. You want to impress me, aside from form-fitting skivvies & shirts that look like bras, then adopt some adults, who are undoubtedly in just as bad a predictament as the kids. Haiti is in epic need of help, fiscally, physically, spiritually, politically & beyond, so pardon me if I don't call you Mother Theresa for picking a child to love, then flying back to your mansion.


I wouldn't call this a publicity stunt, as much as I would say it's just a bad decision. At the least, one of her weed carriers should've been the one being interviewed, then it wouldn't appear so self-serving & shallow. This type of information always comes across more passionately when conveyed by a third party. No matter how sexy one may look in spanx & pasties, patting yourself on the back is some jerk shit. Don't talk about it, be about it, so to speak.


I figured that Haiti's misfortune would bring the vultures down from the trees, but not even my cynicism would've expected this type of nigganometry. Not even from the chick who had people saying "nann nigga" for an entire summer. She has an album due out soon, called 'Amazin'. Coincidence? You be the judge.

To Douche, Or Not To Douche...

(I wonder how many women have asked themselves that before a first date. Just saying.)


So, after all the fanfare & finger-pointing, it turns out that Mtv executives weren't behind Kanye's noticeable absence from the Haiti telethon. It was the man himself, who was too busy to be a part of history.


Really though, I would've lied about that shit. Man, I've lied to people right in their face to save my ass in my lifetime. Who hasn't? To think that after all the hell this walking tampon catches behind ass backwards logic & shit-for-brains blactivity, he didn't even have the God given sense to make up some shit. Or, he could've just told the truth.


"I'd rather be in France, looking at new clothing designs, with [other] gay people. *shrugs* Buy my album."


Here we all were, passing judgment on a bunch of anonymous shot-callers, who may or may not have had something to do with Marshall Mathers sniffing another man's balls & taint on live television, thinking they didn't care about Black people. As soon as I saw Samuel L. Jackson convincing callers to dig deep for the cause, I know that couldn't have been the case. Even if Kanye had been there, I doubt he would've resorted to such nigganometry as interrupting folks &/or bringing up Hurricane Katrina. He may be the biggest asshole this side of Pinky & Cherokee, but he knows his mom wouldn't approve of indiscretion of that magnitude. & I watch enough TV to know not to piss off dead people. Plus, just because a dude acts completely aloof doesn't mean he really is. It most cases, it's all an act, a ruse, an attempt to confuse outsiders as to what the truth really is.


When I was in high school, I got called conceited a lot. In reality, I wasn't at all. Truth be told, I thought I looked exactly like Bart Simpson would if he were a real man-child. I thought my ears & nose were comically disproportionate, like one of the Rice Krispies elves, & my height & weight couldn't have been any more average. I was the little yellow dude, who niggas would pick second to last for their basketball squad, right before they picked the fat kid. Sometimes, they'd pick the fat kid before me, if he was really dark & strong-looking. You know what I'm talking about. So, to mask my low self esteem, I treated girls like crap. Strangely, most of them liked it, which created an odd chain of events that eventually boosted my esteem, & in turn, I had become slightly conceited after a couple of years. & I owed it all to the illusion that I created; I didn't give two donkey turds about people's feelings. Of course that was high school, & I've long since graduated from such asinine notions, but I understand where some of these ass-on-their-shoulders-types are coming from. [||]? Kanye suffers from a similar disorder. Like Big Bow Wow, there oedipal relationships with their mom's created monsters, & once Frankenstein got loose, they weren't ready for the townspeople to scream & run. Or continuously make them trending topics on Twitter.


I can see Kanye's facade for what it is. He may not hate himself, but when he looks in the mirror, & sees that oversized jaw, & those beady little possum eyes, he's not happy at all. What do Black dudes do when they feel a need to compensate? What else but get the baddest White(ish) chick money can buy. & if he's smart, he'll get a bald one, to save money on weaves & hair care products. Chess niggas, not checkers. I wouldn't be surprised if he counts calories & snacks on salads, either. Fuck all that, though. I'm a man. If I eat lettuce, it's because I forgot to tell Alejandro I didn't want it on my Big Mac. Not to get all psychological, but men who pay too much attention to themselves are usually doing so because, at some point, nobody paid enough attention to them, except for maybe their mother & gay guys. I've had gay guys pay me too much attention, & that did nothing for my self esteem. It made me quite uncomfortable, as a matter of fact. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay. Which brings me to my next point.


Kanye is far from homosexual, even if he's a wig & eye shadow away from being a cross dresser, & probably prefers briefs over boxers, because they're snug. Kanye's a selfsexual. Yeah, I just made that up. Feel free to use it at your leisure. It's not all about him because he really believes that it is, but it's "all about him" because he's convinced that it isn't. Every backhanded compliment he dishes out is just a blind flail for attention. When his mom passed, I told people he was going to wild out, & low & behold, he's stabbing himself in the stomach in mini-movies & dressing like a superhero. If only someone would give him a hug. A man hug. To comfort his soul & let him know that everything's gonna be alright. I'd suggest Jay-Z should do it, but he doesn't have a mustache. & I've been raised not to trust Black men without mustaches. I advise you to do the same.


Maybe 'Ye will seek professional help, or simply humble with age. Or maybe not. Either way, I'm glad he stopped singing like a robot.